Cemetery Junction (2010) - go ahead, catch a dream

directed by Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant / starring Christian Cooke, Felicity Jones, Tom Hughes, Ricky Gervais, Ralph Fiennes, Matthew Goode

My attention was caught by two names, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, and I thought there were two very good reasons to see a film. The fellows who made Extras can't do anything bad, right? Well, I'm sure they could if they tried, but Cemetery Junction was quite a pathetic attempt. Try harder next time, fellows. Or on second thought, just make more good movies.

The film is set in England in the 1970s, in a sorry little town called Cemetery Junction. It's about Freddie, a young lad who gets a job at an insurance company in hopes of becoming rich and avoiding the life of his dad, who has worked in a factory his whole life. His best friend Bruce always talks about getting away, but seems inevitably stuck, getting drunk every day and spending more nights in jail than at home with his apathetic dad. (And then there's the third member of the gang, Snork, but he's just there for the comedy, really.)

 In his new job Freddie tumbles into his childhood friend, Julie and there are definitely some sparks in the air, but she is the boss's daughter AND engaged to a top seller of the company, so that's that then, right? Julie introduces Freddie to her own dreams, and makes him reevaluate his own goals and wishes in life. How difficult can breaking free be?

Cemetery Junction was not what I expected judging by my previous experiences of the pair Gervais/Merchant. It was quite funny at times, yes, but the dramatic elements were suprisingly dominant in the story. I even shed a tear, can you imagine! (I'm not going to spoil you the scene, but it was a great example of the power of just one little silent gesture.) It is not the most original film in the world, but it has a big heart and a pretty good sense of humour, too. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and it left me feeling nice and warm inside. Though I still feel bad for the man with the fruit bowl. Watch the film and you'll know what I mean... I wanted to punch a certain someone.

The young actors do a good job, they are relatable and believable. (The actor of Freddie looked like Daniel Radcliffe once in a while. It was disturbing.) Ralph Fiennes is awesome playing an a-hole, as always, and Matthew Goode succeeds in the mission as well. I never thought I could loathe someone as adorable as Matthew Goode, but I stand corrected. Ricky Gervais does a minor role himself as the father of Freddie and provides some funny moments colliding with his mother-in-law. And there was also a 10-second cameo by Merchant, which I was looking forward to the whole time, because that dude just cracks me up. He doesn't have to say anything, he can just stand and make a random face and I'll laugh.

Cemetery Junction made me swear on my mortal soul that if anyone ever asked me to hop on a train with them, destination unknown, I'd do it. (This probably means I can expect invitations to start arriving by tomorrow noon, because that's what swearing on my mortal soul has triggered lately...) In the words of an ancient Arab proverb... throw your heart out in front of you and run ahead to catch it.

A wonderful little film, please watch it!

"Freddie, stop listening to music made by poofs. Stick on some Elton John."

Here are your hosts, Oscars 2011!

I didn't even realise they were already finding people to host the gala next year! Where has my head been? (Somewhere between a prose analysis and the latest episode of Glee, I guess...?) But yeah, the Oscars are approaching, fast! Yaay!

So, Anne Hathaway and James Franco will be hosting. I like Anne a lot, and her contribution to Hugh Jackman's opening number some years ago is quite memorable. And even though James Franco has never been in the top of any of my lists, I'm sure he can be pretty funny and he's easy on the eyes, alright.

I didn't too much enjoy Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin's double act last year (actually, I found them quite boring and stiff), but I dare to raise my hopes pretty high when it comes to James and Anne. If nothing too silly isn't written into their mouths, this might actually become quite a blast. Here's to hoping!

I'm done breathing normally until 26 June 2011, 8 pm

 ... Or maybe a few hours after that. I was already hyperventilating in my other blog, but I need to do this here too. But I'll keep it calm here.

I'm going to see the Glee Live! concert in London next June. I found out about this earlier this week, a few days before I had sworn on my mortal soul that if these guys ever came on tour in Europe, I'd be there. The tickets were on sale this morning and without really even deciding that I'm going, I found myself ordering two tickets and here we are. I don't know who I'm going with yet, but that shouldn't be too big an issue. I'm currently trying to restrain my will to jump up and down and scream till I lose my voice, because June is many months away and anything can happen..I'll jump and scream afterwards. If it'll be worth it. (This is a part of my tactics: Don't expect anything and you'll love it.)

Didn't I do a good job in keeping it calm? Am I excused now? Good.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OOOOOOH FREAKING YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Source Code trailer - oh boy, bring it on!

Well, doesn't this seem interesting! The Moon director Duncan Jones meets Jake Gyllenhaal and I like what I see. Damn, can't wait!

What is it about Jorge Garcia and islands...?

I was happy to read in the news that everyone's favourite dude, Jorge Garcia will be returning to an island. Though it's not the Island where he used to hang around as the sweet and hilarious Hurley, it is still mastered by J.J. Abrams. His new mystery series is called Alcatraz, which gives a little hint about the identity of the island in question.

I don't know what Garcia's character will be like, but it would probably break my heart to see him act anyone less cuddly than Hugo. Or at least it would be very confusing. Still, I'm very much looking forward to this.

By the way, it looks like J.J. is quite determined to keep the old Lost actors working, as there's been talk about that show starring Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn, as well. Haven't heard anything about it in a while, though, I hope they haven't given up the brilliant idea...

By the way, my Lost Marathon is a bit stuck due to the fact that I've been pretty efficiently gleeking out for the last couple of weeks. And for some reason I don't feel like watching Ab Aeterno, which would be next in line... Well, one of these days. Maybe this insane gleeking will start to calm down soon and I can think of something else too, for a change.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (2010) - please marry me, Rupert Grint!

directed by David Yates / starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Ralph Fiennes

FINALLY, I saw this. I felt as if I was the last one on Earth to see it. Well, now it's done... And it's time to sit down comfily and prepare ourselves for yet another wait. Sigh. Oh well, it's the last wait. The very last wait. Ever! ... Oh no.

I think I don't have to give you a summary of the plot. The world is an evil and dangerous place, which is made clear from the very first words spoken and they never let us forget it - unlike in the previous instalment, which once in a while felt like a good old cheery romantic comedy (and which I loved, by the way!). The Deathly Hallows is my favourite book of the whole series, because I never felt so many emotions, so strongly, when reading a book - meaning I cry like a baby everytime I read it, and sometimes of joy, too. So, I wanted the film to be good and pretty much trusted it would be, too. And it was, of course. We've come a long way from the 11-year-old squeaky Daniel Racliffe and the clumsy first films.

I am very happy that they split the last book into two films. Squeezing all that into two and a half hours would've been a mission impossible, or alternatively, a very lousy film. I liked that we didn't need to rush from one scene to another. I mean, of course the pace was fast again, but it was no Goblet of Fire, thank god. So we had time for all the the lingering shots of the breathtaking views in the coast and in the woods (I want to go to England. Oh and I freaked out, very subtly though, when they were in London and I saw one of those Best of Britain bears, from the shops where they sell souveniers, and I was like "I've hugged one of those!", and then they said they were on Shaftesbury Avenue and I was like "That's where I went to see the James McAvoy play!", so now I want to go to London too, again... Anyway.).

Also, it was great that there was time for the main trio to actually interact and their relationships to develop a bit. And I loooooooved that little dance scene. And how it fit there so unexpectedly well. Aww. And Godric's Hollow was beautiful. And pretty creepy! I hope I the poor kids won't have nightmares. Oh and I loved that the story of the Deathly Hallows had been animated! Quite clever.

 

Even though they didn't leave as much out as usually, there was still something I was left missing. Most of all, the farewells to the Dursleys. I know they're idiots, but I love that scene in the book. It's a perfect closure for the horrible relationship Harry had to his horrible relatives. And Dudley gets to redeem himself a bit. That I missed the most. Also I hope there'll be more Dumbledore in the last film. However, most of my favourite scenes were there. The funniest bit was the seven Harrys. I can just imagine how fun that scene was to shoot. The last stand of Hedwig caused a little lump on my throat and I was thrilled to see Dobby again. I was very much looking forward to seeing Ron's comeback and him destroying the horcrux, and it was very well made. Creepy. Very 'the-eye-of-Sauron-talking-to-Frodo-through-the-Ring'-like. And Rupert Grint was great. Oh do I get to talk about Rupert Grint now? Yay!

Ron has established his position as my favourite a long time ago (Weasley is my king!), and Rupert Grint always manages to capture the essence of him. He's one of the few characters that in the films correspond with my own mental images pretty much perfectly. (Bellatrix is another one of those. And Snape, maybe.) I always enjoy his sarcastic comments and awkward facial expressions that lighten up the mood, but the gloomy, angry Ronald was awesome, too. All the other actors did a good job, too. Emma Watson didn't act with her eyebrows as much as before, or at least I didn't notice them enough to be annoyed. And that torture scene killed me a bit. Daniel Radcliffe is also becoming more and more natural. And of course I've had a soft spot for him since I saw him in Extras.

There has always been loads of awesome British actors doing minor roles in the Potter films. It's almost distracting if you start thinking about it... All the other films they've worked together in and all the other awesome roles. Once in a while I couldn't stop my mind from wandering, and thus I kept expecting Rufus Scrimceour to start singing "I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes" and Voldemort to smash a phone against a table and yell "YOU'RE an inanimate fucking object!". They didn't, though. Shame.

The downside of the split book turned out to be that I kept glancing at my watch and thinking "oh hurry up, will you, you still have loads of chapters to go". And most importantly, as there was no real ending, the film failed to give me the certain sense of satisfaction - instead there's a bit frustration, because you know you have to start waiting again and there're long six months ahead before we get the closure. But I'm 99,99 % sure it'll be worth it. It can't be nothing less than FREAKING EPIC.

 Also, since it's been a few years since I last read the books, I've hereby decided that as soon as I manage to finally tackle the last chapters of The Return of the King, I sit down, grap The Philosopher's Stone and won't get up before "all is well". Though I might take a nap somewhere after the fourth book...  Anyway. I had almost forgotten how much I love that world and those characters. And it would be a crime to actually let that happen.

P.S. What was the translation of the 'saint-like' joke about? I mean, the book's translation is not worth mentioning, either, but Van Gogh? Seriously??

P.P.S. This post is horribly incoherent and clumsy. Sorry.

"The Elder Wand, the most powerful wand ever made. The Resurrection Stone. The Cloak of Invisibility. Together, they make the Deathly Hallows. Together, they make one master of death."

Bright Star (2009) - as beautiful as poetry

directed by Jane Campion / starring Abbie Cornish, Ben Whishaw, Paul Schneider

In one of my least favourite courses this year I had to write a poetry analysis on a poem called The Eve of St. Agnes, written by John Keats in the 19th century. As it happens, Bright Star tells about John Keats. I had previously thought I should probably see it, though I didn't know what or who is about, exactly. So now that I spotted a familiar name, I decided to find out who was the fellow behind the 10-mile long poem that caused me so bad headaches.

The film concentrates on the romance aspect of John Keats' final years. He is a struggling poet, not a very successful one, but highly appreciated by his friends. Then he falls in love with Fanny Brawne and introduces her to the world of poetry and all is swell for a while and they almost get married but then John gets sick and we all know what's going to happen. But seeing it happen is actually quite sad.

Before all I knew was that John Keats lived in the 1800s, liked writing long poems and died at 25. Now... well, I can't say I know much more, but that wasn't the point of the film. I didn't look at it as a biography of any kind, but as a romantic drama about a pair of lovers. The love story was potrayed quite beautifully and touchingly. The performances were credible and delicate and no one annoyed me.

I also liked a lot how the film had been shot and how it looked. All the lingering shots of the beautiful English countryside and silent moments when words were not needed or they wouldn't have been enough. And the clothes, or course. I always get a kick out of old-fashioned clothes.

I've never really liked/appreciated/understood/bothered reading poetry, which is probably why I didn't get as much out of Bright Star as a person who does would have. As I said in the title, the film was 'as beautiful as poetry', and that kind of was the problem. I mean, for me, an uncultured brute as I am, The Eve of St. Agnes was just another deadline and thus a source of annoyance more than anything else. Though yeah, I did finally see that it was a beautiful poem, in which Keats had skilfully poured the sorrows and agonies of his short life. But yeah. It's good that there are still more cultured and poetical people in the world, so this beautiful writing doesn't go to waste and is not forgotten. (Plus I did get a 4+ for the analysis, so I must have understood something right. Yay.)

So, a beautiful little film. I didn't love it, but am still glad I watched it.

"A poem needs understanding through the senses. The point of diving into a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore but to be in the lake, to luxuriate in the sensation of water. You do not work the lake out, it is a experience beyond thought."

Cars (2006) - floats like a Cadillac, stings like a Beemer

directed by John Lasseter, Joe Ranft / voices by Owen Wilson, Paul Newman, Bonny Hunt

Cars is one of the few Pixar films I had somehow avoided watching, until today. I'm not sure why. Guess I always thought I wouldn't be that good anyway. Makes sense, right? Because Pixar films are always bad and I never like them. (For those who don't understand sarcasm: that was sarcasm.) Anyway, point was that I don't know why I never saw this before, but now I had to.

See, Cars has just recently become my one-and-a-half-year old nephew's first favourite movie. And if he likes it, I'll like it too, right? And most importantly, his FIRST favourite movie is a movie I haven't seen? How did that happen?? Eager to fix this terrible flaw, (and because I feel it's the responsibility of a godmother) I tried to brainwash him into watching Toy Story. Result: he was interested for about 10 seconds and then wandered off the room. I tried my best: "Look, there's a cool cowboy, see? He's name is Woody and he's superawesome. Oh look, a cool little potato!" Guess it was the lack of a cool red car, or a "brumbru". Anyway, I delegated the babysitting duties and kept watching myself. And the brainwashing continues... One day he'll join my Buzz Lightyear fanclub. Mark my words.

Ahem, back to the topic? Sure, why not. Cars wasn't Toy Story, of course, but it wasn't bad either. Of course. It's another imaginative, new world created by Pixar, full of funny characters, who are full of witty remarks that wouldn't work in any other environment ("You know, some automotive yoga could really lower your RPMs, man."). So they've done cars and toys and robots and fish and superheroes and monsters and bugs and grumpy pensioners... Can't wait for what's next!

Oh well, I still haven't said much about the movie, but you know. Pixar is always Pixar. Right now I wouldn't place Cars to my top 5 of Pixar, but it might start growing on me after a few rewatches. Because I guess there will be quite a few of those over the upcoming years, if my Toy Story brainwashing doesn't start to work. I might have to see the sequel too! (Oh yeah, soon I'll have a good and unembarrassing reason to go see kids' movies! ... Like I ever needed good reasons before.)

Finally, let me present you two of the funniest things about Cars, which were 1) the end credit Pixar spoof and 2) the old hippie van that apparently smoked too much pot in the '60s.

"I'm tellin' you, man, every third blink is slower."
"The '60s weren't good to you, were they?"

P.S. Change of plans! Won't see The Deathly Hallows till Sunday! Aaaaah, the anticipation! I'll be the last person in the universe to see it!

P.P.S. My neighbours are having an apparently wild - and loud - party upstairs. I bet this is a revenge for the other Saturday...

An invitation: PLEASE come and GLEEK OUT with me!

I'm currently suffering from some, er, post-Pre-Christmas-party-related symptoms. (Should I get out of bead today? Nah. Should I eat today? Something other than crisps? Nah.) Luckily, I have just the right medication: a new episode of Glee! Which bring us very nicely to the actual point of the post.

I created another blog, because recently I've been falling  more and more in love with Glee and I thought I could canalise that love into something concrete. So, a new blog it is! We'll see if it begins to get wind beneath its wings. If no, I can always just get rid of it and pretend the whole thing never happened! Haha.

So. Please Gleek Out! Do check it out, I'd be more than pleased!


P.S. The Deathly Hallows tomorrow!! Judging by all the reviews I've read from other blogs, it will be quite a ride - with a few bumps. Anyhow, can't freaking wait!

My TOP 5 favourite women in Hollywood today

Because I'm shamelessly female and probably never get totally over my passionate fangirl-ism, I tend to write about male actors more than it would probably be healthy. And as much as I adore my RDJ, River Phoenix, Sam Rockwell, Andrew Garfield and James McAvoy, of course, I thought I could for once leave all the testosterone out of a post and concentrate in the gorgeous, beautiful, talented, AWESOME ladies of Hollywood. Because, thank god, they're not all meganfoxes there. Here are the best of the best!

5. Keira Knightley

She kicked some pirate ass in The Pirates of the Caribbean, she was nominated for an Oscar for potraying Elizabeth Bennet in The Pride and Prejudice, she sweeped James McAvoy off his feet in that oh-so-gorgeous green dress in Atonement, she bent it like Beckham, she was cute as a button eating banoffee pie in Love Actually, she was a face of a Channel fragrance... and she's only just 25! Next I'm looking forward to seeing her in Never Let Me Go, alongside Andrew Garfield and Carey Mulligan.

FAVOURITE ROLE: I'm biased, yeah, but the only honest answer here is Atonement. She might not always be the biggest chracter actress, but she worked excelently together with the awesomeness also knows as James McAvoy. (No testosterone... Right. I'll shut up now.)

4. Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman is the brain of Hollywood. She's always seemed so smart and sensible, staying away from the crazy partyscene and thus the tabloids. And good for her! Majority of people probably know her best as Padmé Amidala in the Star Wars prequels... Not so good for her. But anyone who's seen her in Closer, Léon, V for Vendetta or Brothers, for example, knows she's capabale of much more than just that horribly corny 'Anakin you're breaking my heart, boo hoo' melodrama. I also have a certain admiration for anyone who shaves her head and still manages to look outstandingly beautiful.

FAVOURITE ROLE: The red-headed, wild, mysterious, erratic what's-her-name in Closer. The upcoming Black Swan might challenge that, though...

3. Marion Cotillard

When I think about the French actress, one of the first things coming to mind is her little speech about/to Kate Winslet in the Oscars a few years back. It was one of those 'previous Oscar winners talk about the year's nominees' thingys, that easily are awkward, unnatural and corny, but she sounded so sincere making it really touching. Other than that, she did a role of a lifetime as Edith Piaf, which also made her well-known among international audiences, too, fortunately! She was a rare bright spot (not literally, though) in Nine and releaved another side of herself in Inception. I'm exited to see what she is yet to accomplish in the future, which surely will be bright for her!

FAVOURITE ROLE: The unexpectedly evil memory of Leo's wife in Inception. Who knew she can be so creepy.

2. Meryl Streep

There's not anough space. Well. 16 Oscar nominations. Been married for like 30 years. Funny (those accents in the end...). Gets older in a NORMAL, natural way. And still looks splendidly beautiful. Is a great role model. I've often said I want to be Meryl Streep when I grow up. Who wouldn't? She just seems to have it all together, but in an admirable way, not in a way that makes you jealous. Because she is so humble and sweet and genuine. She's a freaking godess!

FAVOURITE ROLE: Tough one. I have yet to see embarrasingly many of her older movies. I should make it another official project. Well, I'm not going to be entirely obvious, so I won't say Mamma Mia!, but I'll go for another silly answer - The Devil Wears Prada. Because she is just colder that ice in that one.

1. Kate Winslet

Oh, Kate. The lovely Kate. No adjective describes her better. I just adore her! I adore her down-to-earthness. She once said in an interview that she uses the subway. I can imagine her sitting next to me in the Tube and then accidently burping or something and then going "oh, sorry about that!". I adore her because she's so heavenly beautiful and always looking so elegant on the red carpet, on those pretty, simple dresses. And I won't even begin with her talents. Okay, maybe just a little. She makes us cry and she makes us laugh and she astounds by the feelings she is able to potray without words, so effortlessly. Just think about the brilliantly ominous scene at the breakfast table towards the end of Revolutionary Road. P.S. She likes being naked in movies. And she makes it cool!

FAVOURITE ROLE: I want to say Titanic. I also want to say Revolotionary Road and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Little Chidren. And I also feel a bit like saying Extras. So, I won't give you a specific answer. Because I love Kate whatever she does. (Though nothing tops her beauty in Titanic. Damn! If all the women in the world looked like that I'd change my sexual orientation right away. Haha, kidding. Kind of.)

A few HONORABLE MENTIONS aka consolation prices, because there are so much more women in Hollywood worth a mention.

1) Cate Blanchett. Great presence, guaranteed talent. She potrays the most beautiful non-human creature ever, Galadriel.

2) Anne Hathaway. A sweet girl-next-door, with a bit of an edge. Very likable as a person.

3) Maggie Gyllenhaal. The other half of my favourite pair of siblings in Hollywood. A special mention to her little role in the Sam Mendes film Away We Go.


Now, please protest!

Cabaret (1972) - divine decadence

directed by Bob Fosse / starring Liza Minnelli, Michael York, Helmut Griem, Joel Grey

Long time, no... films worth writing about. Or alternatively, no mood for writing a proper post. Anyhow, I watched Cabaret and there you go! A film worth writing about AND a mood for writing. And we're back in business.

Cabaret is set in the 1930's Berlin, which of course rings a bell for anyone who knows their history. As the Nazi party gradually keeps gaining ground, Sally Bowles, an American singer desperately dreaming of stardom, works in a cabaret club night after night, fooling around with potentially powerful and rich men and drinking booze with two hands. Then she falls in love with Brian, a man with big ears and even bigger heart. But can he tame her?

Liza Minnelli is phenomenol in this legendary role. Long before I saw the film, I recognized the look - the hair and the make-up and those craaaazy lashes. Michael York is sweet and likable as Brian, who gets the audience's symphathies for having to deal with the crazy whims of the sparky, wild Sally. Joel Grey is the Master of Ceremonies, stealing pretty much every scene he's in.

I always enjoy the clothes in movies like this. Those crazy cabaret costumes and all. Only that fur of Sally's was quite hideous, but that's just me... The songs were great and catchy. I even recognized one, called Maybe This Time. Thanks to Glee, of course! As much fun as the dance rutines were to watch, the greatest thing about them is how they adapted to the story, illustrating and emphasizing the most important turns of the plot. That one seemingly comedic number with the gorilla was particularly clever, the way it turned out to be a daring and explicit comment against the Nazi philosophy.

It was both interesting and chilling to watch how the Nazis kept hovering in the background. First they were thrown out off the club, but soon enough they led people to sing rousing anthems about the fatherland. The scene, where the clear-voiced young boy, 'the Nazi youth', sings Tomorrow Belongs to Me and the whole crowd - except for that one old man who clearly sees through that nonsense - joins him, gave me the chills and not in the usual good way.

What is quite unique about Cabaret is that the main characters are not really at all affected by the Nazi revolution. They pretty much just go on with their lives, which are messy enough without taking part in the mayhem growing ever stronger in their country, only struggling to choose between romance and the hope to be rich and famous. They have no idea, and often no interest, about the world-shattering events that are about to take place right behind their front doors. That is, above all, what made Cabaret so fascinating to me.

"Well, do you sleep with girls or don't you?"
"Sally! You don't ask questions like that!"
"I do."

... And suddenly I feel mentally healthy again

I found this link in a comment in Mikaela's blog (just making sure you don't think I've spend my evening youtubing Orlando Bloom. I don't do that... anymore), and want to post it here, too, because I don't want anyone to miss a chance to feel an inch saner.

I think my favourite part is "Sex on the beach, whatever, and then you WOKE UP!" Hahaha, gotta love the fangirls...

Oh let it be Christmas already...

...Because I could use a vacation. Good news are that there's only one and a half months to the merciful break from this hurry. Bad news are that before that I have about a million essays and analyses to write and tasks to finish and French words to learn.

Thanks to this insanity, I've hardly had time to do things that are really important. Like watch Lost. Or concentrate in the new Beauty and the Beast Diamond Edition I picked up as soon as it was available. Or go and greet Robert Downey Jr. in the cinema. Or finally get  one of my eternal reading projects, aka The Lord of the Rings trilogy, over and done with. Or actually watch movies and write post about them.

Well. At least there's snow. And at least the latest Glee episode was FREAKING ADORABLE. (Kurt, ah! Beiste, ah! Mr. Schue, ah! Artie, ah! Puck, ah! Mike, ah! Sue Sylvester, ah! Everyone, ah!)

Jennifer's Body (2009) - Megan Fox is hot? Yeah, we got it already...

directed by Karyn Kusama / starring Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody

 Jennifer is a high school girl (or so they say. She looks like she's thirty), who is basically the most unpleasant, rude, self-conceited, bitchy person you could imagine. Then she turns into a demon and nothing really changes, only now she's literally eating men. For some reason she has a friend who is normal, and who then is granted the honour to try and kill Jennifer. Yihaa.

I don't very often write whole posts about movies I don't like at all. As you might have guessed of my opening paragraph, I didn't like Jennifer's Body (what's that name about, anyway?), but thought I'd still write a post about it, because I disliked it more than I usually dislike movies I don't like. I usually dislike a movie because it's boring, but this goes way beyond that. Beforehand I was pretty sure I would loathe it, but was willing to give it a chance anyway. Well, for once, I should've trusted my prejudices.

There are mainly two things I loathed about Jennifer's Body. 1) Megan Fox and 2) Diablo Cody's script. To elaborate, I have always had some very deep issues with Megan Fox. I just can't stand a sight of her, for some reason. Maybe it's because everything about her screams BIATCH to me, or maybe it's just subconscious jealousy, maybe I'm just angry that she is hot and I'm not, you know, the same reason guys loathe Robert Pattinson. Whatever the reason, I very much disliked Megan Fox again, thus I very much disliked the character of Jennifer, I thought she was quite ridiculous. It was very annoying how they had to underline the obvious über hotness of Megan Fox in every freaking scene, it was over-the-top to the extent of being annoying, like come on, we can see she's hot, stop rubbing it on our faces! Someone called the film 'Megan Fox Is Hot the Movie', and yeah, that's pretty much the case.

To move on to the the other object of dislike, I was highly annoyed by the dialogue. I didn't like Juno either, but now Diablo Cody really outdid herself. The script was trying so hard to be quirky and controversial, but for me it came through as ridiculous and plain annoying. Like what was that tampon comment trying to be, funny?

Disliking the movie made me feel insanely uptight and boring, and that I'm just too mainstream to understand the humour. Well, whatever the case, it was kind of refreshing to really LOATHE a movie for once.

P.S. On the top of everyhing, they put eyelainer on Seth Cohen and made him lip sync and look stupid. Thanks for ruining my teenage idol for me...

"Hell is a teenage girl."

My happy Halloween week

Just a week or two ago I leaped over to quite an unknown territory and tested my nerves with horror. Mikaela linked me a post of hers, recommending some must-see flicks of the genre, and as Halloween was suitably just around the corner, I decided to continue the journey of exploration in the world of serial killers, masked murderers and creepy kids. To begin with, I noticed I actually wasn't so totally hopeless on the field after all, as I had already seen quite a few of the movies Mikaela mentions. However, there was, and still is, a lot to be seen. I was supposed to watch a lot more movies last week, but it was more hectic that I expected (and it doesn't really get easier for another week, sigh), so here are the fruit of my mini horror movie marathon. (I know the first one isn't horror, but since it has the word ' horror' on its title, it'll do.) The quest goes on after the surge of deadlines and other obligations passes by.

 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

directed by Jim Sharman / starring Tim Curry, Susan Sharadon, Barry Bostwick, Richard O'Brien

I finally managed to watch this film, because they had a 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' themed episode on Glee and I wanted to get something out of it. I did get quite a lot out of it, something other than Time Warp, Dammit Janet and Toucha Toucha Touch Me stuck in my head all week, too. Cult films are quite difficult to get in, and I can't say I'm 'in it' after only one watch. This should be seen on stage, with the water pistols and toasts. But the music is catchy, and you can't blame the film for holding anything back or being ashamed of what it is. Two thumbs up for that, and next stop, West End! Finally, here's Glee doing the Time Warp again. Because Kurt is so freaking lovely as a balding creepy old man. (But I'm strongly anti-Quinn nowaways. Not that I'm bitter or anything, if you know what I mean...)

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

directed by Jonathan Levine / starring Amber Heard, Anson Mount, Whitney Able, Michael Welch

This is the type of horror I usually go to. A bunch of teenager in somewhere secluded, and a mysterious someone killing them off one by one. No fear for nightmares here, because the biggest angst comes from not guessing who the killer is or guessing who it is too soon. Movies like this are usully quite entertaining, best served cold with a group of friends. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is about Mandy Lane, a girl who turns into a hot babe during the summer and suddenly all the boys love her. The movie tag line says it quite well: 'Everyone is dying to be with her. Someone is killing for it.' Amber Heard sure is beautiful, and this the way I like horror the most: entertaining, harmless and forgettable.

 

Scream (1996) 

directed by Wes Craven / starring Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich, Courtney Fox, David Arguette, Drew Barrymore

I'm almost ashamed to say that I had NEVER seen a Scream movie before. Pathetic, right? Oh well, after seeing it, I can't say I've missed that much. The killer, Ghostface or whatever, is somehow more amusing than scary, stumbling around and all. (Maybe the asscociations to Scary Movie also kind of hinder the wanted effect, haha. I just thought about the cloak dude hiding behind the couch, giggling...) And I still have disagreements about the killer's identity. I hate being wrong like this! Maybe some lonely boring night I'll watch the sequels, too, but I can't say they're very high on my list of priorities...

 The Omen (1976) 

directed by Richard Donner / starring Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, Harvey Stephens 

To conclude my Halloween week, I raised the stakes and put on something REALLY scary. This is the kind of horror that has potential to give you sleepless nights... A cute little kid as the reincarnated Satan... Um, hello, quite cheery. The film didn't give me a lot of frights while watching, but afterwards that eerie mood just didn't go away, not even with aid from an episode of Big Brother. Hrrr. Anyway, the kid wasn't scary in the way the kids are in modern horror movies. It almost felt that the actor wasn't acting at all, like when he smiled, I saw, on my mind's eye, someone waving a lollipop or making a funny face behind the camera to make the kid smile. And actually that was quite creepy. Like, he just happens to be the reincarnation of all evil, but the doesn't really care, shit happens, let others deal with it. If you know what I mean.