The Dark Knight Rises (and he takes his time...)

 

directed by Christopher Nolan / starring everyone who has even starred in anything at all

Warning: A bit of a SPOILER ALERT. Also, beware of the total lack of sensible analysis.

I feel I could've written this post before I even before saw the film. I had strong expectations about how I would react to Nolan's Batman number three, and they ended up holding almost 100 % true. Would've loved to surprise myself, but nah. Maybe some other time.

Let me first briefly review the history me and Nolan's Batman movies share. I saw about half of Batman Begins something like a century ago (okay, five or six years might be more accurate), but never got to finish it because I had to return the loaned DVD (or VHS or film reel, or whatever people watched movies on on 2006) to the store. As far as I can remember, this has been the only time in my life I rented a DVD/video and didn't have the time to finish the movie. I don't really remember anything at all about Batman Begins. The villain might have been called the Scarecrow, or something, and he was something like the Boggart in Harry Potter. Maybe. I could and very well suspect myself to be wrong. I'm too lazy to check.

The Dark Knight I did see, the whole thing, and also more than once, in cinema first and then a couple of times on DVD. And yeah, it's a good film, but I doubt I ever would've bothered to watch it more than once hadn't it been for Heath Ledger. Because almost all the charm in the movie, for me, relies on the Joker.

So, when it comes to me and Nolan's Batman, you can hardly talk about a love story of a lifetime. Now we come to the third movie, The Dark Knight Rises, which I saw last weekend. I know I'm behind my time, and everyone in the civilized world saw the film ages ago, but it only arrived to this far-away part of the universe (also known as China) earlier last week. (And you know, going to the movies here always presents a bit of a challenge. (And you can only get SWEET popcorn, uuugh wtf!)) I went to the cinema knowing I would have to spend three freaking hours there, and that I probably wouldn't enjoy all of those hours. I still would have to see it, of course, because, duh, it's Nolan's Batman, and of course I would appreciate the quality of it. And then, by the end of it, I would again be left wondering what it is that all the other movie fans in the world see that I fail to. And so it was.

 

The biggest problem in the film, for me, was obvious: 165 minutes?? Seriously, Nolan, give me a break. The noble Sir Batman could've tried rising in a bit hastier manner. I bet I would've enjoyed myself twice as much had I missed the first half of the running time. The other half was pretty good and excting, but I even don't remember what happened during that first hour and a half. Let me see... Anne Hathaway pretended to be a waitress. I remember Michael Caine talking about stuff and having fantasies about Europe. That's all that comes to mind. At least the second half had that cool Star-Spangled Banner scene. Otherwise all that action and ka-ba-boom mostly just managed to bore me, like the case usually is. And Batman and Bane both had such boring fighting techniques. No special, cool weapons, no agile jumps, no clever tricks and tacticts. Just brutal power, yaaarrrr. Boring!

 

Speaking of Batman and Bane, or Bale and Bane. I think seeing Bale in The Flowers of War helped me get over some of the problems I've had with him in the past. I didn't really mind him as Bruce Wayne. Whether or not I minded him as Batman is another story, but oh well, I just can't stand the way he talks when he's got his suit on. Annoyingly ridiculous. Bane is an alright villain. But it's a tough job to follow Heath Ledger's Joker. Plus I had difficulties understanding what he says. Subtitles would've been great! I mean subtitles in a language other than Chinese.

 

Joseph Gordon-Lewitt's young and noble-minded police officer is good-looking seems a bit one-layered and clicheed for a film like this. But of course I liked him, because he's a likable character, and I like characters who are obviously likable. It's always a pleasure, of course, to watch such veteran actors as Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman. Anne Hathaway and Marion Cotillard looked super beautiful, all the time, and so did all the other females in the movie. Oh wait, there were no one else. So yeah.

  

Another problem was that too much of the time I didn't know what was going on. This is mostly thanks to Makuuni, and their 7pm deadline. Had it been 8pm, I would've had time to finish Batman Begins once upon a time in 2006 and today I would've caught all the references and understood the movie better and certainly liked it better, and wouldn't have been so confused about why Cillian Murphy suddenly appeared to do one scene out of the blue. So thanks a lot, Makuuni. If this was America I'd sue.

So, I guess you can tell that I wasn't exactly blown away by the movie. Sure, the quality of it was great. There were some fascinating ideas and concepts; like that prison was wonderfully horrid. But, although I do know it's just the thing that makes Nolan's Batman movies stand out, I'm not too much in love with the seriousness of it all. I like my comic book adaptions and superhero movies made a bit more tongue-in-cheek. After all, we're talking about grown men wearing animal costumes.
 

Oh and one more thing: The Dark Knight Rises is one of the most stupidly and borigly named films ever. I hope Nolan makes one more film set in Batman's world and calls it Robin Falls Down.

My TOP 5 favourite women in Hollywood today

Because I'm shamelessly female and probably never get totally over my passionate fangirl-ism, I tend to write about male actors more than it would probably be healthy. And as much as I adore my RDJ, River Phoenix, Sam Rockwell, Andrew Garfield and James McAvoy, of course, I thought I could for once leave all the testosterone out of a post and concentrate in the gorgeous, beautiful, talented, AWESOME ladies of Hollywood. Because, thank god, they're not all meganfoxes there. Here are the best of the best!

5. Keira Knightley

She kicked some pirate ass in The Pirates of the Caribbean, she was nominated for an Oscar for potraying Elizabeth Bennet in The Pride and Prejudice, she sweeped James McAvoy off his feet in that oh-so-gorgeous green dress in Atonement, she bent it like Beckham, she was cute as a button eating banoffee pie in Love Actually, she was a face of a Channel fragrance... and she's only just 25! Next I'm looking forward to seeing her in Never Let Me Go, alongside Andrew Garfield and Carey Mulligan.

FAVOURITE ROLE: I'm biased, yeah, but the only honest answer here is Atonement. She might not always be the biggest chracter actress, but she worked excelently together with the awesomeness also knows as James McAvoy. (No testosterone... Right. I'll shut up now.)

4. Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman is the brain of Hollywood. She's always seemed so smart and sensible, staying away from the crazy partyscene and thus the tabloids. And good for her! Majority of people probably know her best as Padmé Amidala in the Star Wars prequels... Not so good for her. But anyone who's seen her in Closer, Léon, V for Vendetta or Brothers, for example, knows she's capabale of much more than just that horribly corny 'Anakin you're breaking my heart, boo hoo' melodrama. I also have a certain admiration for anyone who shaves her head and still manages to look outstandingly beautiful.

FAVOURITE ROLE: The red-headed, wild, mysterious, erratic what's-her-name in Closer. The upcoming Black Swan might challenge that, though...

3. Marion Cotillard

When I think about the French actress, one of the first things coming to mind is her little speech about/to Kate Winslet in the Oscars a few years back. It was one of those 'previous Oscar winners talk about the year's nominees' thingys, that easily are awkward, unnatural and corny, but she sounded so sincere making it really touching. Other than that, she did a role of a lifetime as Edith Piaf, which also made her well-known among international audiences, too, fortunately! She was a rare bright spot (not literally, though) in Nine and releaved another side of herself in Inception. I'm exited to see what she is yet to accomplish in the future, which surely will be bright for her!

FAVOURITE ROLE: The unexpectedly evil memory of Leo's wife in Inception. Who knew she can be so creepy.

2. Meryl Streep

There's not anough space. Well. 16 Oscar nominations. Been married for like 30 years. Funny (those accents in the end...). Gets older in a NORMAL, natural way. And still looks splendidly beautiful. Is a great role model. I've often said I want to be Meryl Streep when I grow up. Who wouldn't? She just seems to have it all together, but in an admirable way, not in a way that makes you jealous. Because she is so humble and sweet and genuine. She's a freaking godess!

FAVOURITE ROLE: Tough one. I have yet to see embarrasingly many of her older movies. I should make it another official project. Well, I'm not going to be entirely obvious, so I won't say Mamma Mia!, but I'll go for another silly answer - The Devil Wears Prada. Because she is just colder that ice in that one.

1. Kate Winslet

Oh, Kate. The lovely Kate. No adjective describes her better. I just adore her! I adore her down-to-earthness. She once said in an interview that she uses the subway. I can imagine her sitting next to me in the Tube and then accidently burping or something and then going "oh, sorry about that!". I adore her because she's so heavenly beautiful and always looking so elegant on the red carpet, on those pretty, simple dresses. And I won't even begin with her talents. Okay, maybe just a little. She makes us cry and she makes us laugh and she astounds by the feelings she is able to potray without words, so effortlessly. Just think about the brilliantly ominous scene at the breakfast table towards the end of Revolutionary Road. P.S. She likes being naked in movies. And she makes it cool!

FAVOURITE ROLE: I want to say Titanic. I also want to say Revolotionary Road and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Little Chidren. And I also feel a bit like saying Extras. So, I won't give you a specific answer. Because I love Kate whatever she does. (Though nothing tops her beauty in Titanic. Damn! If all the women in the world looked like that I'd change my sexual orientation right away. Haha, kidding. Kind of.)

A few HONORABLE MENTIONS aka consolation prices, because there are so much more women in Hollywood worth a mention.

1) Cate Blanchett. Great presence, guaranteed talent. She potrays the most beautiful non-human creature ever, Galadriel.

2) Anne Hathaway. A sweet girl-next-door, with a bit of an edge. Very likable as a person.

3) Maggie Gyllenhaal. The other half of my favourite pair of siblings in Hollywood. A special mention to her little role in the Sam Mendes film Away We Go.


Now, please protest!

Inception - prepare your breath to be taken away, far away

Directed by Christopher Nolan. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, Ken Watanabe, Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine.

Long story short: ... Okay, this is a bit difficult. So, there's a technology that allows you to enter people's minds and dreams and steal their secrets and ideas. And there's this one guy whose mind these other guys need to enter to plant an idea in there (that's called 'inception') ...and that's pretty much what it's all about. Kind of.

Isn't it just awesome, how something that's been hyped to be awesome actually turns out to be just that? I was so worried that I wouldn't like or understand Inception. And - even though I have to admit I didn't fully, totally, completely understand it - I did like it, a lot. And that's just awesome.

Now - a little praise. I feel like calling Chris Nolan 'a genious'. Seriously, who knew he could top The Dark Knight. He did! Oh man. The cast, then. Somehow they'd managed to cast only actors that I like. Leo - the usual dark and twisty awesomeness, Joseph Gordon-Levitt - oooooooh, hello eye candy (and more!), Marion Cotillard - favourite actress material, Ellen Page - I'm glad you didn't get your first Oscar for Juno, you'll get it for something so much better, Ken Watanabe - Ha! Chairman!, Tom Hardy - a new face for me but liked him immidiately, Cillian Murphy - something very freezing about him, in a good way, and of course Michael Caine - wonderful, awesome, that's all he knows how to be.

... I don't know how to start analysing and disentangling the film. I can say it was the best film I've seen in a good while - but at the same time I'm positive Inception won't become a favourite film of mine, because for me a favourite film means that I can watch it over and over again and every time it's just pure indulgence.  Inception is a brilliant film, so brilliant it's weird to think someone human came up with it, it's very very well made and it seriously is modern film making at its best - 'a triumph of modern cinema', as I mockingly descriped Eclipse a while back.

At the same time it's difficult, complicated, almost tiring, if you're not feeling at your sharpest. Half way through I felt a bit exhausted, because there was so much to take in and no break to catch your breath. It demands you to concentrate constantly and keeps your brain busy, provoking your thoughts. It's... well, like a maze. Which you can't crack just like that. And as brilliant as it is, and as much as I enjoyed it, it wasn't pure indulgence. So - if someone askes me in the end of this year what was the BEST film of 2010, I will probably say Inception. If they ask what was MY FAVOURITE film, I will say something else. Something silly like Toy Story 3 or Kick-Ass or Harry Potter. You know what I mean.

Anyway, at the end I was just glad I'd substantially understood what the film was about, had been able to follow all along and even guessed and predicted a thing or two. I call this a personal triumph, haha.

Dreams and the subconcious are a blurry and mysterious area of science, and thus very fascinating. Somehow in Inception they'd managed to take some things we know - like the feeling of falling that wakes you up - and compose a technology that you know is fiction, but it's made and explained so well it feels plausible and real.

The CGI was excellent, just excellent, and there was obviously a lot of it, but it didn't feel like they were gloating with it - special effects weren't the reason to tell a story (ahem, Avatar, ahem), but a tool to tell it. Also, they didn't shoot it in 3D, which in my book means a million thumbs up! Go, you.

Some random thoughts: I liked how that Edith Piaf song played quite a major role in the film. As you remember, Marion Cotillard won an Oscar for potraying the singer. Hans Zimmer's music is... like Hans Zimmer's music tends to be. I liked the film's humour a lot, it was subtle and clever. There wasn't much of it, but just enough to nicely lighten up the atmosphere when necessary. The ending... Aaaaaaaargh, damn you Nolan, you nasty nasty thing! (=Thank you! You are a genious, there I said it!)

What else... Oh, I don't know. My breath is still a bit taken away, I can't think clearly. The Perfect Film still remains unmade (as it hopefully will forever), but Inception shows it's always worth a try. And I hope they still remember this little film when the awards season kicks in.

"Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange."

 EDIT // Damn, one just can't spell after midnight.