Cemetery Junction (2010) - go ahead, catch a dream

directed by Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant / starring Christian Cooke, Felicity Jones, Tom Hughes, Ricky Gervais, Ralph Fiennes, Matthew Goode

My attention was caught by two names, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, and I thought there were two very good reasons to see a film. The fellows who made Extras can't do anything bad, right? Well, I'm sure they could if they tried, but Cemetery Junction was quite a pathetic attempt. Try harder next time, fellows. Or on second thought, just make more good movies.

The film is set in England in the 1970s, in a sorry little town called Cemetery Junction. It's about Freddie, a young lad who gets a job at an insurance company in hopes of becoming rich and avoiding the life of his dad, who has worked in a factory his whole life. His best friend Bruce always talks about getting away, but seems inevitably stuck, getting drunk every day and spending more nights in jail than at home with his apathetic dad. (And then there's the third member of the gang, Snork, but he's just there for the comedy, really.)

 In his new job Freddie tumbles into his childhood friend, Julie and there are definitely some sparks in the air, but she is the boss's daughter AND engaged to a top seller of the company, so that's that then, right? Julie introduces Freddie to her own dreams, and makes him reevaluate his own goals and wishes in life. How difficult can breaking free be?

Cemetery Junction was not what I expected judging by my previous experiences of the pair Gervais/Merchant. It was quite funny at times, yes, but the dramatic elements were suprisingly dominant in the story. I even shed a tear, can you imagine! (I'm not going to spoil you the scene, but it was a great example of the power of just one little silent gesture.) It is not the most original film in the world, but it has a big heart and a pretty good sense of humour, too. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and it left me feeling nice and warm inside. Though I still feel bad for the man with the fruit bowl. Watch the film and you'll know what I mean... I wanted to punch a certain someone.

The young actors do a good job, they are relatable and believable. (The actor of Freddie looked like Daniel Radcliffe once in a while. It was disturbing.) Ralph Fiennes is awesome playing an a-hole, as always, and Matthew Goode succeeds in the mission as well. I never thought I could loathe someone as adorable as Matthew Goode, but I stand corrected. Ricky Gervais does a minor role himself as the father of Freddie and provides some funny moments colliding with his mother-in-law. And there was also a 10-second cameo by Merchant, which I was looking forward to the whole time, because that dude just cracks me up. He doesn't have to say anything, he can just stand and make a random face and I'll laugh.

Cemetery Junction made me swear on my mortal soul that if anyone ever asked me to hop on a train with them, destination unknown, I'd do it. (This probably means I can expect invitations to start arriving by tomorrow noon, because that's what swearing on my mortal soul has triggered lately...) In the words of an ancient Arab proverb... throw your heart out in front of you and run ahead to catch it.

A wonderful little film, please watch it!

"Freddie, stop listening to music made by poofs. Stick on some Elton John."

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (2010) - please marry me, Rupert Grint!

directed by David Yates / starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Ralph Fiennes

FINALLY, I saw this. I felt as if I was the last one on Earth to see it. Well, now it's done... And it's time to sit down comfily and prepare ourselves for yet another wait. Sigh. Oh well, it's the last wait. The very last wait. Ever! ... Oh no.

I think I don't have to give you a summary of the plot. The world is an evil and dangerous place, which is made clear from the very first words spoken and they never let us forget it - unlike in the previous instalment, which once in a while felt like a good old cheery romantic comedy (and which I loved, by the way!). The Deathly Hallows is my favourite book of the whole series, because I never felt so many emotions, so strongly, when reading a book - meaning I cry like a baby everytime I read it, and sometimes of joy, too. So, I wanted the film to be good and pretty much trusted it would be, too. And it was, of course. We've come a long way from the 11-year-old squeaky Daniel Racliffe and the clumsy first films.

I am very happy that they split the last book into two films. Squeezing all that into two and a half hours would've been a mission impossible, or alternatively, a very lousy film. I liked that we didn't need to rush from one scene to another. I mean, of course the pace was fast again, but it was no Goblet of Fire, thank god. So we had time for all the the lingering shots of the breathtaking views in the coast and in the woods (I want to go to England. Oh and I freaked out, very subtly though, when they were in London and I saw one of those Best of Britain bears, from the shops where they sell souveniers, and I was like "I've hugged one of those!", and then they said they were on Shaftesbury Avenue and I was like "That's where I went to see the James McAvoy play!", so now I want to go to London too, again... Anyway.).

Also, it was great that there was time for the main trio to actually interact and their relationships to develop a bit. And I loooooooved that little dance scene. And how it fit there so unexpectedly well. Aww. And Godric's Hollow was beautiful. And pretty creepy! I hope I the poor kids won't have nightmares. Oh and I loved that the story of the Deathly Hallows had been animated! Quite clever.

 

Even though they didn't leave as much out as usually, there was still something I was left missing. Most of all, the farewells to the Dursleys. I know they're idiots, but I love that scene in the book. It's a perfect closure for the horrible relationship Harry had to his horrible relatives. And Dudley gets to redeem himself a bit. That I missed the most. Also I hope there'll be more Dumbledore in the last film. However, most of my favourite scenes were there. The funniest bit was the seven Harrys. I can just imagine how fun that scene was to shoot. The last stand of Hedwig caused a little lump on my throat and I was thrilled to see Dobby again. I was very much looking forward to seeing Ron's comeback and him destroying the horcrux, and it was very well made. Creepy. Very 'the-eye-of-Sauron-talking-to-Frodo-through-the-Ring'-like. And Rupert Grint was great. Oh do I get to talk about Rupert Grint now? Yay!

Ron has established his position as my favourite a long time ago (Weasley is my king!), and Rupert Grint always manages to capture the essence of him. He's one of the few characters that in the films correspond with my own mental images pretty much perfectly. (Bellatrix is another one of those. And Snape, maybe.) I always enjoy his sarcastic comments and awkward facial expressions that lighten up the mood, but the gloomy, angry Ronald was awesome, too. All the other actors did a good job, too. Emma Watson didn't act with her eyebrows as much as before, or at least I didn't notice them enough to be annoyed. And that torture scene killed me a bit. Daniel Radcliffe is also becoming more and more natural. And of course I've had a soft spot for him since I saw him in Extras.

There has always been loads of awesome British actors doing minor roles in the Potter films. It's almost distracting if you start thinking about it... All the other films they've worked together in and all the other awesome roles. Once in a while I couldn't stop my mind from wandering, and thus I kept expecting Rufus Scrimceour to start singing "I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes" and Voldemort to smash a phone against a table and yell "YOU'RE an inanimate fucking object!". They didn't, though. Shame.

The downside of the split book turned out to be that I kept glancing at my watch and thinking "oh hurry up, will you, you still have loads of chapters to go". And most importantly, as there was no real ending, the film failed to give me the certain sense of satisfaction - instead there's a bit frustration, because you know you have to start waiting again and there're long six months ahead before we get the closure. But I'm 99,99 % sure it'll be worth it. It can't be nothing less than FREAKING EPIC.

 Also, since it's been a few years since I last read the books, I've hereby decided that as soon as I manage to finally tackle the last chapters of The Return of the King, I sit down, grap The Philosopher's Stone and won't get up before "all is well". Though I might take a nap somewhere after the fourth book...  Anyway. I had almost forgotten how much I love that world and those characters. And it would be a crime to actually let that happen.

P.S. What was the translation of the 'saint-like' joke about? I mean, the book's translation is not worth mentioning, either, but Van Gogh? Seriously??

P.P.S. This post is horribly incoherent and clumsy. Sorry.

"The Elder Wand, the most powerful wand ever made. The Resurrection Stone. The Cloak of Invisibility. Together, they make the Deathly Hallows. Together, they make one master of death."

Fucking awesomeness: In Bruges

In Bruges (2008)

Directed by Martin McDonagh. Starring Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Clémence Poésy.

Long story short: Ray fucks up his first job as a hitman and he and his collegue Ken are sent off to Bruges, Belgium, where they try to get over the incident and do some sightseeing on the side, too.

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't seen the film yet, go see it now and then come back. I'm not going to hold back the delicious details this time. You've been warned.

+ F word allert! I'm not going to hold back the F word, either, because - thanks IMDb - 'the word 'fuck' and its derivatives are said 126 times in this 107-minute film, an average of 1.18 'fucks' per minute'. And that's a lot of F words. So it's only appropriate to follow their fucking lead in this fucking post, so I apologize in advance!

When I saw In Bruges for the first time, I was totally taken by surprise. I expected something very different, partly because of the HORRIBLE Finnish title ('Kukkoilijat'? Seriously? Who the fuck came up with that? They aren't fucking peacocks! ... Hmm. Pea...cocks. Kukko... cock... Maybe there's something to it after all. I've never thought about it that way before. Could that really be the point of the translation, or a part of the point...? I really don't know. Hmm. Interesting. My world just illuminated a bit. Maybe for nothing, but anyway...). Anyway! Where was I? I mean where the fuck was I? I'll try to break an unofficial F word record here.

The cast, the dialogue and the setting are the driving forces behind this film. Colin Farrell is freaking fucking brilliant as Ray, who hates Bruges and doesn't give a damn fuck about sightseeing and just wants to get back to London - and at the same time tries to process the fact that he killed a little boy, which is something he can never take back. He 'will always have killed that little boy'. Farrell's performance in In Bruges is his best of all, in my opinion. Ray is a whiny brat, but so awesome anyway. (And the little boy and his list of things he prays to be forgiven for: 1. Being moody 2. Being bad at math 3. Being sad. Oh no... Heartbreak alert!)

Hmm. I haven't said fuck in a while. Fuck. There's something very warm about Gleeson's Ken, a badass hitman or not. He's wonderfully fatherly towards Ray, even though most of the time they just piss each other off. They are a splendid twosome, very entertaining to watch. I also LOVE Ralph Fiennes's Harry, I don't know what it is, but he's hilarious and intimidating at the same time. 'You're an inanimate fucking object!' And his phone call to Ken, asking whether Ray is having a wee or poo and how's a fairytale town not somebody's fucking thing. And this scene below.

Ray's love intrest is a charmingly quirky small-time drug-dealer Cloë, played by Fleur Delacour. The actress's name is too difficult to spel with all the ´ thingys. There're three Harry Potter actors in this film, which isn't that surprising, because pretty much every British actor has been in a Potter film. Except for Hugh Grant. And I think he was in the talks to play what's-his-name, the pompous dude in The Chamber of Secrets... Lockhart, right! ... And why am I talking about Harry Potter? Clémence Poésy (there, I did it anyway) is well cast. She's not traditionally beautiful, and quite perfect for this film.

Looks like it's getting late again, as my mind starts wondering a bit too far away, for a change... The dialogue of the film is quite genious. I love it for being so non-PC and for insulting pretty much every single breathing thing on Earth. An example. (I had a hard time choosing just one scene.)

Ray: Why didn't you wave hello to me today when I waved hello to you today? 

Jimmy: I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today; Wasn't waving hello to anybody. Except... maybe to a horse. 

Ray: Huh? What are you talking about? 

Jimmy: Just horseshit. 

Ray: You from America? 

Jimmy: Yeah. Don't hold it against me. 

Ray: Well, that's for me to decide, isn't it? 

Ray: [to Denise] You from America too? 

Denise: No, I'm from Amsterdam. 

Ray: Amsterdam! Amsterdam's just a lot of bloody prostitutes, isn't it? 

Denise: Yes, that's why I came to Bruges. Been trying to get a better price for my pussy here. 

Ray: Huh? 

[pause]

Ray: You two are weird. Would you like some cocaine?

And then Ken appears behind Ray looking like he's full of cocaine, which he is. Haha. Great. I restrain myself from adding another piece of dialogue. I won't fucking do it.

Bruges really is like a fairytale town. I want to go there. And it looks so different during night and day, which works really well in this film... from an idyllic tourist destination to an alien, dream-like world. And ah, the alcoves.

Like I said in the beginning, In Bruges is a surprising film. It's a comedy, yes, but a black comedy. Very, VERY black. I'm talking pitch-black. First it makes you laugh (and most of the time you are not sure if it's okay to laugh at the things you're laughing at), then it shocks you a bit, then it makes you sad, and right after the saddest moment it makes you laugh again. In the end you probably don't know what hit you. I didn't.

Yes, the ending. Personally I love it, how it's left so open and you get to decide Ray's fate yourself. The first time I saw the film I decided that he died. But now I think he lives. Someone has to live, because pretty much everyone else dies! Luckily Marie, the hotel owner, survived. She's cool. The last lines are so so good. First Ray talks about the little boy and promises to atone for his sins if he lives, then he insults Bruges once again and finally: 'And I really really hoped I wouldn't die. I really really hoped I wouldn't die.' Yes. Perfect. Please live.

This post is too much praise and too little sensible argumentation, but that's just how it is when I talk about my favourite films. And In Bruges is one of those. (On second thought, my posts are always like that. Hmh.)

(I forgot I was supposed to say fuck all the time. Damn! I mean fuck.)

"What's a fifty year old lollipop man doing, knowing fucking Karate? What was he, a Chinese lollipop man?"