Aug 21, 2010

(When I say Marathon I really mean Marathon) This time: a silly mermaid, a street rat and a boy who would not grow up

So. I'm planning a well-deserved break from Disney. I'm not sure if it'll last, but anyway. I have one more FREAKING EPIC Disney post coming up (plus the story about my day in Disneyland), and then. A break. Maybe. I'll let Lost to take all my time.

The Little Mermaid (1989)

I don't know if it's because I might've seen too many Disney films recently (apparently that's possible after all), but The Little Mermaid kind of annoyed me. It wasn't one of my childhood faves, so I was free to look at it more critically. First, Ariel is just kind of foolish. I know, I know it's love at first sight and all that, but to be ready to risk your life and leave your family (which this time is actually a good, loving one) behind to get to woo the cute boy you saw one little glance of? Come ON, girl! Some very unbalanced teenage hormones must be at work there... If I was her father, I would've locked her in her room (or nail her fins to the floor) for a few years to wait for the most critical age to pass. Also, that idiotic smile of hers just started to annoy me at some point. Those flapping eyelashes, too. I guess you can't afford playing even a little hard to get, when you can't trust your splendid verbal talents.

Second. The prince, Eric (who is sort of good-looking, I give you that, Ariel), isn't the prince I'd go with if they put all Disney princes in line. (Who WOULD I go with? Keep reading...) He gets that silly obsession about that voice, and he doesn't really fall for Ariel until he finds out the voice is hers. Before that she's just a pretty smiling plan B girl to him. Who he can't even manage to kiss! That's the most frustrating part, when they are rowing at the lake, isn't that really so hard to give a little kiss? So what, your boat's gone over. Kiss her in the water, you stupidhead!

Third. Disney is always about being yourself. Wrong, not this time! It's apparently better to be a human than a mermaid. Lesson learned.

... Alright. I'm not really that furious about this subject. Sorry if I insulted your childhood idol. If I watched my favourite Disney movies critically, I'd of course find things I don't like. But still. Ariel is now officially the most annoying Disney princess. That teenage brat.

"Somebody's got to nail that girl's fins to the floor."

Peter Pan (1953)

Okay. Another little disappointment. I really like the story of Peter Pan, but the movie wasn't as good as I remembered. Shame! I found myself glancing at the clock, which is quite uncommon with Disney films, as their avarage running time is less than hour and a half. Still. Oh I don't know. Also Wendy was somehow very annoying. I though that was the case only with the recent live action version, but no, the animated Wendy was just as annoying. Tinkerbell was amusing, though! I've been meaning to read J.M. Barrie's original story for a long time... One of these days. I guess. Second star to the right and straight on till morning!

"But, Captain, wouldn't it be more humane-like to slit his throat?"

Aladdin (1992)

Now, the Disney prince I'd go with? Aladdin was a pleasant surprise! I hadn't watched it in ages, and it wasn't a childhood favourite, either, but unlike in the two cases above, I wasn't disappointed. Aladdin is so cool! For an example, see his introduction scene, One jump ahead. Man, I think "he's rather tasty", too. So, a potential Prince Charming with a dashing smile? Check that! A princess with a personality? Check. A cool baddie? Check. Cute animal friends? Check. (Iago isn't that cute, but I think it's funny how he pretends to be just a normal parrot. And he switches sides later, right?) A chubby future father-in-law? Check. Awesome songs? Check, oh freaking check! Throw in a genie with the voice of Robin Williams, and you've got yourself quite a competent Disney adventure!

Now. I know Disney wouldn't be Disney without a happyhappy ending, but they get kind of boring after seeing a dozen of them in the dozen movies you've watched in a row. Of course I wanted to a happily ever after for Aladdin and Yasmine, but the way they always do it (smiling and cheering and fireworks and birds singing) just flattens an otherwise rocking movie a bit. Oh well. Let Disney do it Disney-way. I bet I would bitch about it, if they once did it differently.

"Oh, Al. I'm gettin' kinda fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything."


M-link said...

Ouch, some major Little Mermaid slaughtering going on there! I admit that it IS one of MY favorite Disney princess films, even though Ariel wouldn't be the most suitable role model for young girls... maybe. I don't care, I love her hair (call me shallow) :).

I never was that keen on with the Disney Princes. My favorite male character was for a long time the Beast from The Beauty and the Beast. Yes, the actual Beast, not the blond male model to which The Beast turns to in the end. Later came Tarzan and he hasn't been replaced yet. I'll be his Jane any day!

Eeva said...

Haha, yeah, I was a bit harsh :D I know I wouldn't mind those things if Little Mermaid was my childhood favourite. She HAS lovely hair, I admit!

The Beast is probably my favourite prince (the Beast-Beast, yes, he lost a lot of personality along with the fangs and the horns), and Aladdin just won the second place. I haven't seen Tarzan in a million years, maybe I should postpone my Disney break just a little and watch it... :D