Fucking awesomeness: In Bruges

In Bruges (2008)

Directed by Martin McDonagh. Starring Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Clémence Poésy.

Long story short: Ray fucks up his first job as a hitman and he and his collegue Ken are sent off to Bruges, Belgium, where they try to get over the incident and do some sightseeing on the side, too.

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't seen the film yet, go see it now and then come back. I'm not going to hold back the delicious details this time. You've been warned.

+ F word allert! I'm not going to hold back the F word, either, because - thanks IMDb - 'the word 'fuck' and its derivatives are said 126 times in this 107-minute film, an average of 1.18 'fucks' per minute'. And that's a lot of F words. So it's only appropriate to follow their fucking lead in this fucking post, so I apologize in advance!

When I saw In Bruges for the first time, I was totally taken by surprise. I expected something very different, partly because of the HORRIBLE Finnish title ('Kukkoilijat'? Seriously? Who the fuck came up with that? They aren't fucking peacocks! ... Hmm. Pea...cocks. Kukko... cock... Maybe there's something to it after all. I've never thought about it that way before. Could that really be the point of the translation, or a part of the point...? I really don't know. Hmm. Interesting. My world just illuminated a bit. Maybe for nothing, but anyway...). Anyway! Where was I? I mean where the fuck was I? I'll try to break an unofficial F word record here.

The cast, the dialogue and the setting are the driving forces behind this film. Colin Farrell is freaking fucking brilliant as Ray, who hates Bruges and doesn't give a damn fuck about sightseeing and just wants to get back to London - and at the same time tries to process the fact that he killed a little boy, which is something he can never take back. He 'will always have killed that little boy'. Farrell's performance in In Bruges is his best of all, in my opinion. Ray is a whiny brat, but so awesome anyway. (And the little boy and his list of things he prays to be forgiven for: 1. Being moody 2. Being bad at math 3. Being sad. Oh no... Heartbreak alert!)

Hmm. I haven't said fuck in a while. Fuck. There's something very warm about Gleeson's Ken, a badass hitman or not. He's wonderfully fatherly towards Ray, even though most of the time they just piss each other off. They are a splendid twosome, very entertaining to watch. I also LOVE Ralph Fiennes's Harry, I don't know what it is, but he's hilarious and intimidating at the same time. 'You're an inanimate fucking object!' And his phone call to Ken, asking whether Ray is having a wee or poo and how's a fairytale town not somebody's fucking thing. And this scene below.

Ray's love intrest is a charmingly quirky small-time drug-dealer Cloë, played by Fleur Delacour. The actress's name is too difficult to spel with all the ´ thingys. There're three Harry Potter actors in this film, which isn't that surprising, because pretty much every British actor has been in a Potter film. Except for Hugh Grant. And I think he was in the talks to play what's-his-name, the pompous dude in The Chamber of Secrets... Lockhart, right! ... And why am I talking about Harry Potter? Clémence Poésy (there, I did it anyway) is well cast. She's not traditionally beautiful, and quite perfect for this film.

Looks like it's getting late again, as my mind starts wondering a bit too far away, for a change... The dialogue of the film is quite genious. I love it for being so non-PC and for insulting pretty much every single breathing thing on Earth. An example. (I had a hard time choosing just one scene.)

Ray: Why didn't you wave hello to me today when I waved hello to you today? 

Jimmy: I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today; Wasn't waving hello to anybody. Except... maybe to a horse. 

Ray: Huh? What are you talking about? 

Jimmy: Just horseshit. 

Ray: You from America? 

Jimmy: Yeah. Don't hold it against me. 

Ray: Well, that's for me to decide, isn't it? 

Ray: [to Denise] You from America too? 

Denise: No, I'm from Amsterdam. 

Ray: Amsterdam! Amsterdam's just a lot of bloody prostitutes, isn't it? 

Denise: Yes, that's why I came to Bruges. Been trying to get a better price for my pussy here. 

Ray: Huh? 

[pause]

Ray: You two are weird. Would you like some cocaine?

And then Ken appears behind Ray looking like he's full of cocaine, which he is. Haha. Great. I restrain myself from adding another piece of dialogue. I won't fucking do it.

Bruges really is like a fairytale town. I want to go there. And it looks so different during night and day, which works really well in this film... from an idyllic tourist destination to an alien, dream-like world. And ah, the alcoves.

Like I said in the beginning, In Bruges is a surprising film. It's a comedy, yes, but a black comedy. Very, VERY black. I'm talking pitch-black. First it makes you laugh (and most of the time you are not sure if it's okay to laugh at the things you're laughing at), then it shocks you a bit, then it makes you sad, and right after the saddest moment it makes you laugh again. In the end you probably don't know what hit you. I didn't.

Yes, the ending. Personally I love it, how it's left so open and you get to decide Ray's fate yourself. The first time I saw the film I decided that he died. But now I think he lives. Someone has to live, because pretty much everyone else dies! Luckily Marie, the hotel owner, survived. She's cool. The last lines are so so good. First Ray talks about the little boy and promises to atone for his sins if he lives, then he insults Bruges once again and finally: 'And I really really hoped I wouldn't die. I really really hoped I wouldn't die.' Yes. Perfect. Please live.

This post is too much praise and too little sensible argumentation, but that's just how it is when I talk about my favourite films. And In Bruges is one of those. (On second thought, my posts are always like that. Hmh.)

(I forgot I was supposed to say fuck all the time. Damn! I mean fuck.)

"What's a fifty year old lollipop man doing, knowing fucking Karate? What was he, a Chinese lollipop man?"

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009)

Directed by Terry Gilliam. Starring Heath Ledger, Christopher Plummer, Lily Cole & Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Colin Farrell.

Long story short: (... This is really difficult!) Doctor Parnassus likes to gamble with the Devil, literally. One of the deals he's made is to give his child to the Devil when they turn 16. His daughter Valentina is approaching that age, and Parnassus is running out of both time and ideas. Maybe one more deal will help him out of the mess? Then a mysterious stranger turns up and offers a helping hand. Oh, and then there's this mirror that takes you to an imaginary world where you have to make a choice.

The name Terry Gilliam guarantees something out of ordinary. I was actually afraid that it would be TOO out of ordinary, meaning just plain weird. Other Gilliam films I've seen include Twelve Monkeys (pretty good!), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (never really got this one), The Brothers Grimm (I remember kind of liking it) and Brazil (talk about TOO weird... Damn it was confusing!). Plus some Monty Pythons. I was almost relieved when I realized I was actually able to follow the plot and I knew what was happening (almost) all the time! Of course there were a few wtf moments, like I'm not entirely sure what that ending was all about. Oh well.

Let's take a look at the cast, then, shall we! First, of course, Heath Ledger. For a while I couldn't stop wondering things like "which one was the last scene he ever shot" and "this scene must have been shot after his death, they must all feel so terrible", but luckily most of the time I was able to concentrate on the film itself. Heath was good (however, not quite like Joker or Ennis Delmar) and the character of Tony fitted him quite well. I somehow trusted Tony all the time, despite all the signs of a suspicious past, and I wanted him to be good in the end. I guess it's the charming way Heath Ledger played the character.


Christopher Plummer was excellent as the ancient and mysterious Doctor. I liked Lily Cole, too. Verne Troyer as Percy was just pure gold, with his sarcastic attitude. ("Percy, what would I do without you?" "Get a midget.") (Verne always reminds me of the British Celebrity Big Brother. I remember watching an episode, in which they had a chili eating challenge. Because of his small size, the chilis of course affected him more than the others, but the poor man ate them all anyway.) Who really won me over was Anton, played by Andrew Garfield. I was rooting for him all the time! A sweet boy, totally had my sympathies. For some reason Tom Waits's Devil left me a bit cold. He just wasn't, well, devilish enough for me. I liked the short appearance of Peter Stormare!

Then the three Imaginary Tonys, played by, as you all know, Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell. I couldn't help wondering how different the film would've been, had Ledger finnished shooting all of his scenes, but I guess that's beside the point. It worked well this way, too. All of the Imaginary Tonys did well, and I happen to like all three actors, but the best one had to be Johnny Depp. He had the least screen time, but gosh, I don't know, maybe it's just his unbeatable charisma. No wonder us ladies just adore him. Man-wise, this was a very good film.


AND in other ways, too! I'm not even getting started about the visual part, but hey, Terry Gilliam has one hell of an imagination. The scene with Jude Law's Tony in the clouds, wow. And that's just one example. Quite stunning indeed. I liked the contrast between the Imaginarium and the real world, which is so modern and so, well, ordinary. It was almost weird to see supermarkets and night clubs in a film like this. But I liked it!

What else what else what else...? Well. This film (the title is so long, I try to avoid writing it. Of course, writing this, I would have written it at least three times already. Sigh.) was a positive surprise for me, because I expected something way more over the top. This is definitely not a film for everyone. But I enjoyed it.

In the beginning of the end credits there was a text: A Film from Heath Ledger & Friends. I thought is was a nice salute. This is what Gilliam says in the DVD, I quote this from IMDb: "The loss of Heath Ledger was such a blow that it was a kind of a test of everybody involved in this film. Whether, in these kinds of incredibly difficult circumstances, we could continue and make a film worthy of Heath's last movie. And I think because of so many people, so many people who loved him, respected him, we pulled it off. It's also why I couldn't put a credit that was contractual on the film. And the contractual credit was, 'A film by Terrry Gilliam.' And I couldn't do that. I just didn't think that was right. And so one night, the cast and some of the crew were all gathered in Vancouver, toasting Heath, and saying, 'What are we gonna do? What are we gonna call it?' And we all agreed to call it, 'A film from Heath Ledger & Friends.' And I think it's truly the honest, accurate, and right credit. Forget contracts, for once let the truth speak."

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (there, I did it!) was a bit of a mess at times, but I'm glad I watched it.

"Do you dream? Or should I say... can you put a price on your dreams?"