Lord of the Lists

My annual Christmas holiday Lord of the Rings Extended Edition rewatch inspired me to draw up some lists. They are related to the films, of course, because I sucked at reading the books. Before I get started, however, I'd like to present to you the one and only quote from the books that made such an impression on me that it has lingered in my mind. It's from The Two Towers, uttered by Treebeard.

"Those were the broad days. Time was when I could walk and sing all day and hear no more than the echo of my own voice in the hollow hills. The woods were like the woods of Lothlórien, only thicker, stronger, younger. And the smell of the air! I used to spend a week just breathing."

I love the idea of just breathing seven days straight! Haha, that's actually exactly what I felt like doing after returning back to Finland from China.

Now, from Tolkien's Middle-Earth to the one of Peter Jackson, and my favorite things about it.

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5x Places in Middle Earth

5. The Fangorn forest. I bet this is one of those places where you'd feel like spending a week just breathing. In the wise words of Legolas: "This forest is old. (Artistic pause.) Very old."

4. Rivendell. It's pretty and there are pretty elves gliding around and soft, pretty music always playing.

3. Argonath, the Pillars of the Kings. One of my (granted, numerous) favorite moments in Fellowship is when they paddle past the huge statues along the river.

2. Anywhere in the mountains. Had I been attending the secret council meeting, I totally would have signed up for the Fellowship, just so I could have seen all the beautiful places up in the mountains. I friggin' love those beautiful mountains.

1. The Shire. There's no other place in the world, real or fictional, more cosy and inviting than the Shire.

5x Eligible husband candidates

5. Aragorn. He's noble and brave and all that jazz. Though he's 87, or something.

4. Legolas. Well, I think this fellow is ever older than 87. But he's got beautiful hair. I could use the tips.

3. Eomer. There is almost too much testosterone flowing in the vains of this son of Rohan.

2. Merry. If I was Hobbit-sized, I'd totally go for Merry. In our mutual Hobbit Hole we'd have a room for Pippin, just like Monica and Chandler would always have a Joey room.

1. Faramir. In the recent years I've grown past Legolas's pretty blond hair and Elijah Wood's big pretty eyes (not really), and concluded that if ever I happened to find myself in Middle-Earth, I'd definitely marry Faramir. He makes sense to me. We'd totally hit it off, and have all kinds of awesome pacifistic conversations.

5x Women of Middle Earth

5. Shelob. Hah. What does it say, when the only fifth female character I can name is a giant spider?

 4. Rosie. And the only fourth one I can name doesn't even have any lines?

3. Arwen. She's really cool in Fellowship, but then she becomes a bit boring. Props for Jackson for trying to bring in more female energy, but why did it have to be in the form of a boring love story?

2. Éowyn. Well, Éowyn kicks ass, compensating for the lack of other ass-kicking female characters. She was always a bit too cold and solemn to completely win me over, but one can't help but cheer when she sticks her sword in the middle of the Witch King's face, after delivering the best one-liner in the trilogy.

1. Galadriel. She is such a goddess, and I always enjoy when she stops by to smile with her sparkling eyes or to give goosebump-worthy voice-overs. "The world has changed..."

5x Villains

5. The pink Orc. He's a bit weird. But at least he stands out, with that original choice of skin color. I like how he spits on that huge piece of rock after it almost crushed him to death.

4. Saruman. It's Christopher Lee, yo. With nails so pretty even Legolas must be jealous.

 

3. Denethor. I mean, that man is horrible! Such an incredible douchebag! Luckily he died, so I don't have to worry about unpleasant father-in-laws.

2. The head Uruk-hai. From Fellowship. EVIL! So evil.

1. Gollum. Gollum/Smeagol is definitely one of the best villains, not only in Middle-Earth, but also in the whole world. I love/hate him even more after seeing the first Hobbit. And... Andy Serkis. No need to say more. Now, if you'll excuse me, I will go and build a shrine for that genius.

5x Battles

5. Sam vs. Shelob. It's a duel, right, not a battle? Still, the little hobbit kicks ass.

4. Black Gate. "For Frodo."

3. Moria. The first big battle of the Fellowship, and it is so cool! There are horribly many Orcs, and they even have a gave troll, which at that point of the story is huge, no pun intended.

2. Helm's Deep. So dreadful, with the rain and all. Even more dreadful is to think that the cast and crew actually had to live through filming all that. Three months of night shoots, if I remember correctly?

1. Peleanor Fields. EPIC.

5x Random joys of the Lord of the Rings

5. Horses. They are such cool, beautiful animals! I took a riding lesson a few months back, and I totally imagined being a daughter of Rohan, gallantly riding to war. The horse didn't get it, and rode everywhere else but where I wanted him to go. Stupid animal.

4. The use of language. It's poetic, lyrical, beautiful. I almost sound like that Selena Gomez song. Anyways, I just love the way the characters speak, the elves and the wizards and the noble lords. Granted, sometimes it sounds a bit corny and silly (mostly when Legolas speaks: "-- unless my eyes are cheated by some spell!"), but it's such a great and welcome change to the way we speak in the real world nowadays. Just read any of my posts. It's coarse and vulgar, isn't it? Haha. I mean, like, yeah, I bet Legolas would like totally chat to his buddies like this, if he like lived like now, like seriously, you know?

3. The different tongues. When they don't speak English, it's even better.

2. Accuracy. This is the most historically accurate film ever that is based on fictional history.

1.New Zealand. Sigh. I'm so depressed I can't go there right now.

5x Songs

5. The Road Goes Ever On. It's about going on adventures! Whee!

4. I Only Wish To Catch A Fish. I love Smeagol and the song is really catchy.

3. Into the West. I just read the lyrics and actually teared up. Jeez.

2. Home Is Behind. One of the (multiple) best scenes in RotK. Oh, Billy Boyd. And that barbaric Denethor, and those tomato juice metaphors.

1. The Green Dragon. Best drinking song ever! "But the only brew for the brave and true... comes from the Green Dragon!"

5x Lines that I always recite

5. "Up, up, up, up, up the stairs we go."

4. "They have a gave troll."

3. "My precious!" (Especially the one after Faramir asks, "What did they steal from you?")

2. "Tree? I am no tree. I am an Ent."

 

1. "They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard (gard, ga-ga-ga-gard)!"

5 x Cool Legolas moments

5. The shield surfing. Because it's perfectly logical to do something like that in the midst of a heated battle. Show-off.

4. The drinking game. "I think it's affecting me."

3. "You're late. Also, you look terrible. Awesome to have you back from the dead, dude!"

2. The ward attack. Shoot an Orc, shoot another, mount a moving horse.

1. The Oliphaunt slayer. A cherry on top is the little head jerk, which Orlando Bloom reportedly uses to hit on women.

5x Friendships 

5. Boromir and Faramir. The little we get to see of the relationship between these two brothers is quite wonderful. I love the way Boromir stands up for his younger brother, against their douchebag of a father.

4. Legolas and Gimli. Great for comic relief, of course. But also quite touching in the end. "I never thought I would die fighting side by side with an Elf." "How about side by side with a friend?"

3. Merry and Pippin. It is always extra heart-breaking, when the young, innocent and cheerful are forced to go through hell. Merry and Pippin have been the bestest of friends, always, and they manage the scary world they are thrown into together... until they're separated, and that just breaks everyone's hearts even more.

2.  Frodo and Sam. "I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee. Here at the end of all things."

1. The Fellowship. All nine companions. There were certain "pairs" within the Fellowship, since some were closer to each other than others, but there was still a strong bond in between every member of the group.

5x Biggest shivers and tearjerkers

5.-1. The second half of the Return of the King

5x Biggest heroes

5. Éowyn. I let her snatch this spot from the fingertips of certain noble kings and mighty soldiers, because she needed more devotion than any one of them to become a hero. Nobody asked her to fight; on the contrary, they told her not to.

4. The Eagles. Middle-Earth's answer to every unsolvable situation.

3. Gandalf. Well, he's kind of obligated to be a bigger hero than many others, and know stuff that others don't, being a wizard and all. He is always the organizer, the executor, the bigger force behind every turn of events.

2. Sam. He should get all the credit in the world, or in Middle-Earth, because no one else contributed to the eventual success of Frodo's mission as much as Samwise the Brave. He repeatedly saved Frodo's life, pushed him forward when he threatened to fall, pulled him back when he was at risk of taking the wrong path, and, when there was nothing else he could do, he carried Frodo for the rest of the way. And the audiences everywhere bawl like babies.

1. Frodo. He might have had all kinds of help on the way, and he never proved himself as a warrior, but he was still the one who, voluntarily, carried the Ring all the way from the Shire to Mount Doom, and bravely suffered the consequences.

5x Words of wisdom

5. "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

4. "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future."

3."It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."

2. "The enemy? His sense of duty was no less than yours, I deem. You wonder what his name is, where he comes from, and if he really was evil at heart. What lies or threats led him on this long march from home, and would he not rather have stayed there... in peace? War will make corpses of us all."

1. "It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."

"What are we holding onto, Sam?"

"That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for."