Water for Elephants (2011) - a good try that somehow waters down

directed by Francis Lawrence / starring Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, Christoph Waltz

Water for Elephants turned out to be one of those movies that technically have all the ingridients to be great, but for some reason you can't quite put your finger on, they flag in the level of being just okay. It could've been so good: it has a great, intriguing and visually exciting setting (who wouldn't love the circus atmosphere?), a dramatic, moulinrouge-ish kind of story and pretty good actors, too (the main threesome includes two Oscar winners and one of the most recognizable faces in the world right now (not that that necessarily guarantees anything)).

And yet... blah.  There was something missing; that little extra something. I kind of did enjoy myself as long as the movie lasted, but it didn't linger in my mind, and now, a few weeks later that I'm actually trying to get my mind around finishing this post, I can't say there are many thoughts in my head about the film. But I'll try.

Reese Wiherspoon has done some pretty good roles, yes, though usually their just the basic barbie doll roles, but somewhere between those she managed to win an Oscar, too, so she can't be a total loser, right? I'm a bit torn about her, but in Water for Elephants, I didn't like her much, if at all. She just lacked that... that leading lady spark. I mean, in movies like this you're supposed to fall in love with the characters like they fall in love with each other, or at least see what they mean, when they go "Ah, my love, I'd die for you, please let me die for you" and "Your mesmerizing beauty makes me see you in slow motion". (Like in Moulin Rouge!, for example, it makes total sense that they risk their lives for each other and all that, because we see her beauty and soul and his lovable romantic poor man's charm.) I just felt like telling Rob to ditch the colourless, soulless woman and go fall in love with someone of his own age. Rob at least was kind of charming. And you can't tell me I'm biased, because I was always Team Jacob when I had to choose.

So, Robert Pattinson is pretty good in this movie. It's delightful to see the total lack of all those horrible brooding mannerisms, but I'm afraid this is still not enough to shake the vampire from his shoulders, make less people hate his guts for being so famous and popular ans handsome, and make less people faint at the sight or thought of him or anything related to him. But it's a step away from all that, even if only a small one. It's going to take a while for people to take him seriously, and everyone knows that. Speaking of which, I'm actually become kind of a spokeswoman for Robert Pattinson since some months ago I read this interview. I'd kind of felt sorry for him before, but now I've taken up the habit of defending his honour in every chance I get. If you want to hear my speech, please do not hesitate to ask. Haha. But seriously, though. The guy's just taken too much crap for one little mistake, which you can't blame him for, because no aspiring young actor in his good sense says no to a leading role. Okay, shutting up now, before this gets out of hand.

Christoph Waltz masters the art of playing the vilain, of course. In fact, if he was really lazy and just wanted to make some quick, easy money, he could just do all of his roles by standing still and not saying anything, and the memory of colonel Hans Landa in everyone's minds would do the job for him and everyone would be freaking scared of him anyway. So that's all I have to say about that.

I've somehow failed to talk about the film itself, while talking about various other things. Well, first time for everything, right? (A little sarcasm, right there, in case you didn't notice.) Let's do a nice little summary. Good about Water for Elephants: Rosie the elephant (seriously, what a charmer! Hope they treated her alright...), setting (I just love me some circus stories), Christoph Waltz, Pattinson's non-Edward-ness. Bad about Water or Elephants: the lack of that little extra something, the TOTAL lack of chemistry between the two 'lovers', Reese Witherspoon's blandness, the annoying Nicholas Sparks-like vibe the ending gave me.

I've got the book waiting for me on the shelf and I will read it when the moment presents itself, because the story is still okay, and everyone says the book is better than the movie. I just have to imagine someone else's face in the place of the heroine...

"I don't know if I picked that circus. But something told me that circus picked me."

Remember Me (2010) - living in the moments

directer by Allen Coulter / starring Robert Pattinson, Emilie de Ravin, Chris Cooper, Pierce Brosnan

Remember Me is about two lovers, Tyler and Ally, their relationship to each other and their dysfunctional families. Both of their families are short of overshadowed by death: Tyler's brother killed himself and Ally's mother was shot in front of her when she was a little girl. These old wounds and sorrows control their lives as they try to stay close to each other.

The film was a lot grimmer and heavier than I expected.  It had lighter, funny, sweet moments too, but overall its tone was very dark. Like, you just knew there's no way it'd end well. But you wanted it to. The characters felt real and I grew quite fond of them.

Turns out Robert Pattinson can act, after all. Who knew. Luckily, there were no Edward Cullen mannerisms, except for only one brooding facial expression that thank god disappeared within the same second it appeared. (Also, R-Patz is much more good-looking as a non-sparkling human.) Two thoughts about Emilie de Ravin: 1) she's really too old to play a 21-year-old love interest of Pattinson, but actually they'd made her look quite young, somehow, and 2) I kind of missed her Australian accent - not once did she say "My beibeh!".

My favourite aspect of the film ended up being the relationship of Tyler and her 11-year-old sister, Caroline. She is really mature and witty without being one bit annoying, and yet it's clear she's still a little girl, who's hurt from being bullied at school and ignored by her father. Tyler is the most awesome big brother one could imagine - supportive, caring, protective, understanding. They share some great scenes, and I happily would've watched even more of those.

The ending is no doubt the most discussed aspect of the film (next to Pattinson, maybe). It sure took me by surprise. One could argue it's a bit far-fetched, but I think it's only very powerful and a fine ending for a film like this. It really made me gasp and shed a few tears, too. And I can only imagine how hard it must have hit certain people. I think it completed very effectively the story that from the beginning was pretty much all about loss and love and life after death.

"If you could hear me, I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched."

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse - a triumph of modern cinema!

After this morning's nostalgia trip to the golden 30s, I went to cinema to marvel how amazingly much the industry has gone forward since those days.

(Above you can see me quietly mocking the superficialized, struggling-with-inflation present day Hollywood movies (which I - in spite of all - unconditionally and irrevocably love). This might become a very sarcastic and mean post. Sorry. I don't mean it. Much.)

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Directed by David Slade. Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattionson, Taylor Lautner.

Long story short: Bella has to choose between her super cool vampire BF* Edward and her super hot werewolf BFF** Jacob. OMG you'll never guess which one she chooses!!! (Okay, really, something else happens, too. But that's what they always come back to.)

So. I will probably sound quite insincere and hypocritical here, mocking the film and the series, and yet I went to see this a day after the premiere and will go see the last ones, too and I'm writing a post about it and it will probably be very long. But Twilight is easy and fun to mock, because the mayhem around is just ridiculous. I promise I'll say something nice in the end. First I'll jeer and make some stupid sarcastic comments. Then I'll be nice and reasonable.

I read the books a year or two back. I didn't love them, but of course I wanted to know how it would end. (It ended badly. Like in a worst way a book has ended, ever. I'll get back to that.) The films are alright entertainment, for the right mood, and yes, I have the first one on my shelf, but hey I only bought it at the airport because I had to use the rest of my pounds, and...! Well. Anyway. The books are quite badly written, which is why it makes me embarrasingly angry when people say Twilight is the new Harry Potter or something. Er? No they aren't. You're wrong. Shut up.

Okay, so there's still that certain appeal to these books and films. Appeal for the girls, mostly. Though there are these so called Twilight mums that creep me out a bit. This hysterical fan culture makes the girls go crazy and thus the guys go all pissed off, because they don't want their girlfriends to be fantasizing about sexy sparkling vampires. And hell, I get it. This is exactly the reason I dislike Megan Fox. Anyway. IMDb's user rating for Eclipse tells a lot: at the moment it's 3.6 - 31.9 % gave it a ten, 48.7 % gave it a one. Most of the raters surely haven't even seen the film. Along with the huge popularity always comes the counterreaction.

Okay, enough about the phenomenon, for now. Eclipse was unintendedly comical. That's a major reason for the entertainment value. The action part is alright, mostly. The romance and drama side of the film, then, is where the comicalness begins. And it can be very frustrating and annoying, too, if you take it too seriously. Bella is the worst heroine ever. Don't follow her lead, sweethearts! Edward is a crazy, possesive stalker. Jacob is kind of normal. That's why I'm Team Jacob all the way! Nah. I'm Team Jasper. Or Team Charlie. Or Team Anna Kendrick. I'm glad they gave her more lines this time. That Oscar nomination truly paid off, eh?

Um, I was talking about unintended comedy? The CGI, man, there was better CGI on the first Star Wars, and this is the 21st century for heaven's sake, and you'd think they have money to make wolves that don't look like soft toys, but apparently not. They had cool wolves in Narnia. They had one pretty authentic werewolf in The Prisoner of the Azkaban. Ask those guys to make you a wolf, so maybe next time a dramatic scene won't be spoiled because the audience is laughing at a toy wolf. And Victoria's dead double dead body... Ha ha. By the way this new Victoria was just lame. The previous Victoria was a real badass. And her hair didn't look so much like a wig

Um um. K-Stew is still a bit annoying. R-Patz is stiff and awkward but I'll get to him (too) later. I don't think they have a stupid nickname for Taylor Lautner so I'll just call him Taylor Lautner. Taylor Lautner is alright, he doesn't annoy me because I like Jacob. Jasper aka Jackson Rathbone is hot (even better as a non-vampire!). I like his backstory and Rosalie's, too. I liked that he spoke with a slight Southern accent. Though I don't think he spoke like that before. Not that he spoke very much before. Emmett is funny. The only things I laughed at (that I was SUPPOSED to be laughing at) were some comment of Emmett's and Charlie and Bella's sex conversation. The characters felt real for a moment and were interacting in a genuine way! Wow! No, but it was funny.

By the way, I'm afraid I have to plea guilty for being a bad cinema goer this time. I hope our entourage's gigling didn't spoil any other teenage girl's movie experience. Couldn't help it, though! We were getting restless, because the movie just went on and on, and my friend asked me how long till it ends and I said ten minutes, and almost at the same time on screen someone asked how long till the Volturi gets here and someone else answered that a few minutes, maybe ten. Sorry, but the situation was funny and we cracked up quite badly. Speaking of Volturi, Dakota Fanning was chillingly good! That girl will get an Oscar one day. Not for a Twilight film, though.

I think this is a good place to say those nice and reasonable things I made a promise about. (Insert a pause here.) ... (A long pause.) ... I guess it's an official truth that Twilight films aren't GOOD, in the most profound sense of the word. (You know, when you saw the title of this post, you knew I was kidding, and so on.) BUT I don't think you can say they are bad. I mean, they are, aren't they, but after all Eclipse grossed 70 million dollars on it's opening day. That means there are a lot of people around who like the series and want to pay for seeing them. Remembering the concept of target group is important here. Of course Eclipse is a terrible movie for a 34-year-old mechanic, who likes Rambo and beer. Or for a cultured film critic, who enjoys Polish art house films and the work of Lars von Trier. Twilight isn't meant for those people. It's for the girls, who have a need to drool over handsome young men and dream about that romance that makes you bite your pillow. (I just made a Breaking Dawn reference. Outch.) So let them have their fun. I had Elijah Wood, let them have R-Patz. I'm kind of talking straight at myself here. I'm not the one to judge, I've been as bad as they are. Almost as bad.

Okay, not as bad. Twilight fans are crazy. Seriously. Which brings me to the other matter I was meant to get back to. I really feel bad for Robert Pattinson. I just read an interview where he said that he can't wait for the whole Twilight thing to be over. Can't blame him. I can only imagine how crazy his life is. Poor guy! Half of the world scream and faint in front of him, the other half would punch him in the nose if they had a chance. Roughly saying. I have done my part in this - I had my counterreaction phase and I was very enthusiastically mocking Pattinson for having a bad personal hygiene, because I read somewhere that he doesn't shower often, or something. I'd like to take that back now, Rob. I'm sure you smell very good. And I hope you someday get rid of the Twilight stigma. I don't know about his acting, playing Edward Cullen clearly isn't the best chance to show one's talents. But... We'll see. And I have to admit, he is kind of good-looking. In other words, very handsome. Just no my type, exactly.

This is crazy. I shoudn't have this much to say about Twilight. I'm not sure if I've even said anything reasonable. But. One more thing, and then I'll stop. Breaking Dawn, the last book of the series, will come in two parts, in 3D. Which I don't get. Sure, I get that people like money, but what the hell are they going to do with the movies? Breaking Dawn is a terrible book. Personally I think they should just pretend it was never written. The book's quite disgusting, and it has scenes I definitely don't want to see on screen, not even on 2D. And I'm not even getting started about The Anticlimax of All Time. BUT, it's kind of interesting, too. By now they've managed to take three mediocre books and make them into three mediocre films. Now, with an Oscar winning director, can they make a terrible book into an okay film? (Maybe. If they totally change the ending. And many other things, too.)

There. I think I got it all out of my system now. I don't know if I had a point, and if I did, I don't know if I managed to put it in words. Sorry. Here's a brief summary: Eclipse certainly isn't 'a triumph of modern cinema', but okay entertainment for the target audience, when not taken too seriously. And let's be honest, don't we all go to the cinema and pay for the ticket jus to see Taylor Lautner take his shirt off?

"I'm hotter than you are."

* BF = boyfriend. ** BFF = best friends forever. Just in case you aren't familiar with the wonderful internet slang of today's youth.

"In simplicity there is truth." - River Phoenix

Didn't see any films today... Today was a River day. A good day! (I'm just going to sprinkle these photos everywhere, because MAN was someone a natural in front of the camera.)

I walked to the campus to force myself to finnish my essay (and I did!). Last time I went to the campus there was much more snow the sea was still frozen... Not anymore! It was so pretty there, I love that our campus is by the sea. Sun was shining and it was amazingly warm and I played my feel-good-songs, like Downtown and Walking on Sunshine, in repeat, and I had to fight myself not to smile like an idiot all the time.

At home I dedicated my day mostly to River Phoenix. First, I'm falling in love with that name more and more all the time! God bless the Hippie parents, look at these names: River, Rain, Joaquin, Liberty, Summer... Ah! I would totally name my children like that if I lived in an English speaking country. (Doesn't work here, really.... Joki Jokinen. Sade Virtanen. Vapaus Vanhanen. Kesä Mansikkamäki. Ridiculous. Shame, though.) Where was I...? I've had River by Joni Mitchell stuck in my head half of the day. I bet River sometimes wished he had a river he could skate away on. If not in those words.

I watched a biography/tribute show I found on Youtube. I'll link it here, in case someone's interested. It's in five parts, together about 45 minutes long.

(Damn, I'm a technical genious for managing to do that!) I learned a lot about River. Shame to say, pretty much all I knew before was the same majority of people (those who have heard of him, I mean) do: he was in Stand by Me and he died young. His backgroung is very interesting, the cult and being smuggled back to America... And I so need to find more of his movies! It's not easy, though, in this godforsaken country (sorry. I didn't mean it. Oi Maamme Suomi ja sitä rataa). It was both sad and respectable, how the really HATED being a celebrity. The whole celebrity culture is really very idiotic and so so shallow, and I can't say I've done anything to stop it... Vice versa. But I could say River changed my point of view a bit. That side of the industry is just... ugh. And yes, I love the Oscars and all that stuff, but let's face it. Most of that is just pretending and showing off and so phony and ridiculous spending of money. (Still, I'm watching next year. Again. No doubt. Am I a hypocrite or what... Hah.)

More about River. Watching that biography also made me feel that I should become a vegeterian (not that I will do that, either), stop buying things I don't need (as if) and go pat my roommate's cat on the back (that I might do... as soon as I get up). Point is that he's inspiring. (Not sure if I should write was or is... I'm confused. Sure he's dead, but he inspires me now, so...? Oh, anyway...) And the way he lived his life is/was/whatever very admirable. He had princibles he believed in, and lived according to them. Like when filming some movie he demanded clothes not made of animal skin. Even though at that point he really wasn't in a place where you could make demands, he got what he wanted, because others saw something special in him, even then.

(Lovelovelove that picture! One not so serious. Though he does EXCELENT serious, too.) And then he's death... First I'd like to quote what Leonardo Dicaprio said in an article in Esquire "on the night River Phoenix died":

"When I was eighteen, River Phoenix was far and away my hero. Think of all those early great performances — My Own Private Idaho. Stand by Me. I always wanted to meet him. One night, I was at this Halloween party, and he passed me. He was beyond pale — he looked white. Before I got a chance to say hello, he was gone, driving off to the Viper Room, where he fell over and died. That's a lesson."

I read lots of comments saying that Leo's words were somehow offensive and inappropriate and I sort of get their point. I mean it is kind of wrong that everyone always talks about River's death insted of his life. And sure, it's a bit dramatic and so on, but I really don't mind that comment. After all, it is quite a coincidence that Leo happened to see his hero on the night of his death. World loves drama and stories like that. I can't deny that I had some shivers when I first read that.

Anyway, I don't have much more to say about his death. It was very very very unfortunate and tragic and unfair and wrong and sad. What I understood was that he didn't take that stuff for kicks, he took it to cope. World is unfair sometimes, that's something you can't get over.

Oh and my faith in humanity improved an inch. That paparazzi, who could've taken a million dollar picture, but called 911 instead. "I'm a human being before I'm a photographer." I'd lift my hat if I had one. Not everyone would've acted similarly.

Now I should somehow summarise the greatness and uniqueness of River Phoenix. And... I can't really. Well, you know. But I really need to watch My Own Private Idaho (a great name for a movie by the way!) again, because first time I was just too confused about the story, I couldn't concentrate on River's performance. Here's one more picture, possibly my favorite of those I found today.

I truly am sorry but I will conclude my River Phoenix entry in a very inappropriate way. But come on, girls, take a look at that hair! Next to that, Robert Pattinson is, well, bald! In your face, R-Pattz!!!

(Again, sorry.)