Aug 23, 2013

Behind the Candelabra (2013) / My Life with Liberace

"Too much of a good thing is wonderful."

The 1970's was a better time, wasn't it; you could dress up in glitter, frill, fur and eyeliner from head to toe, but people wouldn't automatically assume that you're gay. I guess the stereotype came to be much later. The clothing was one of the best things about the movie. Some of that stuff was just outrageous, and I mean that in a good way.

Before today I didn't know anything about Liberace. All I knew was that they like to make a lot of Liberace jokes on Glee, so I assumed it had to do with something, um, eccentric. I hadn't heard about the movie either, which is kind of cool, because it hints that A-listers in gay roles is not such a big deal anymore. So I read a couple of reviews, and then decided it could be worth seeing. And it really was worth seeing, because it's nominated for like a million Emmys, and I never really had an opinion about Michael Douglas before, but now I do, and the opinion is that he's so good.

The acting is no doubt what makes the film stand out. Douglas especially, but Matt Damon, too. He portrayed a character much younger than himself, and you need more than a tremendously convincing make-up to pull that off. The make-up was kick-ass, of course, but still. They were both so shameless, and they owned the characters, even when they did the boldest scenes, put on the most embarrassing costumes and let themselves look the most unflattering. There was not even a trace of the well-known Hollywood superstars, so there's no reason to feel awkward. Bravo! And Rob Lowe with that highly attractive facelift... Scene-stealer. 

(I can't get over Cheyenne Jackson, aka the most hilarious guest star on Glee ever, being a part of the film. I just didn't expect to ever see Dustin Goolsby in a glitter tuxedo. "I'm handsome, I'm good-looking and I'm easy on the eyes. Also I'm gorgeous." Hahahahhaah... Classic pick-up line. And Daddy Hummel aka the brilliant Mike O'Malley had a small role, too! Glee invasion! By the way, keep the jokes coming, because from now on I will get them.)

I'm tired so that's all I'll say. I hope many people will see the film, and I hope Douglas and Damon will get all kinds of awards. This was a very refreshing movie, I hadn't seen anything like it in a while. A bit sweet and a bit sad and a bit funny and more than a bit outrageously and wonderfully eccentric. I'm glad this made it to cinemas in Europe, even though in the US it was only released on TV. 'Cause it's too gay. Right? Welcome to the year 2013...

P.S. I know this has to do with absolutely nothing, expect for Matt Damon's BFF, but I feel so sorry for poor Ben Affleck, because people think he'll be a terrible Batman. C'mon, just because the guy has never acted well in anything, doesn't mean he can't pull off Batman! I mean, I could pull off Batman. Just growl and speak in a ridiculously low voice and frown a lot. I bet Benny will be the best Batman ever! Not that I will see the movie, because I think Batman is stupid and Superman is lame.

Aug 22, 2013

Kick-Ass 2 (2013) / Avengers assemble, asshole

"Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch."

Once upon a time my ass was figuratively kicked by Kick-Ass. In other words, I really got a great kick out of the movie. And it really was damn awesome, wasn't it? I remember sometimes calling it my favorite superhero movie, next to The Avengers. 'Cause it's just great fun. The sequel continues to entertain, it makes me laugh out loud, and also cringe, because some of the stuff they pull is pretty yucky. Lawn movers and all. I don't thoroughly enjoy all the violence and the obnoxious deaths, but let's face it, Kick-Ass wouldn't be Kick-Ass if someone didn't get decapitated or their guts spilled out in a hilarious way every once in a while.

Some spoilers.

I was hoping that in a new plot twist Dave Lizewski would have decided to grow a mustache. Sadly, that didn't happen, but luckily there's always Anna Karenina. Aaron T-J has been my wet dream for quite a while, with or without mustache, and I enjoyed him again, especially during those last frames. I will be rewinding those seconds and watching them again and again once I get my hands on a DVD. When I'm forty I will totally marry a 20-year-old Aaron Johnson. It is my ultimate goal in life.

But not even the flawless abs or the awesome scale of supporting characters (from the terrifying Mother Russia and Jim Carey's Colonel to the sweet Team Remembering Peter and Christopher Mintz-Plasse who delivers every time) can outshine the true star of the film: Hit Girl/Mindy Macready/Chloë Grace Moretz. Hit-Girl and Katniss Everdeen should unite to be the most ass-kicking teenage girl duo ever. They'd shoot squirrels and hit President Snow square in the face, with some awesome background music. Anyway. Fangirl brain, stop. Hit-Girl was a big part of the charm of the first movie, but now she has a more significant role, and she gets more meatier stuff, and I loved it. If Kick-Ass was a Kick-Ass movie, Kick-Ass 2 was a Hit-Girl movie. High school is tough, growing up is a bitch, and fitting in is pain, even if you are only the most bad-ass girl in the universe. But even Hit-Girl isn't completely immune to boy bands.

Kick-Ass 2 might be an action comedy sequel before anything else, but it ended up delivering a very sincere message, even if it was delivered via disgusting images of spilled guts and severed penises. You can choose what to do with your life; you can choose to be a super villain, or you can choose to do good with what you have. With no power, comes no responsibility, expect that isn't true. I stole that from the first movie, but it's a cool thought. It's what the whole franchise is about: choosing to fight for good, even though you're probably going to get your ass kicked, because you have no superpowers whatsoever. "You don't have to be bad-ass to be a superhero, you just have to be brave."

By the way, Bechdel test passed! Not bad for a superhero movie. The two most bad-ass characters were female, and I seriously doubt there's ever been a more terrifying villain in anything ever than Mother Russia. And Hit-Girl, she's a total cowboy. In the end, she kisses the good-looking guy, and drives off to the sunset in a motorcycle. I want to be Hit-Girl when I grow up. And I can't wait for Chloë Grace Moretz to grow up and do more amazing movies and blow everyone's minds away. But, you know, not with weapons, but with her talent. I also can't wait for Kick-Ass 3. Not to mention The Avengers sequel. Aaron T-J is going to be in it, as if there weren't enough heartbreakingly beautiful men involved in that franchise already. I'm not sure if my ovaries will be able to handle it, but I will be so pleased to give it a try.

Aug 6, 2013

Before Midnight (2013) / bitch-slapped by reality

"If you want true love, then this is it."

I didn't love Before Midnight the way I have, for years, loved Sunrise and Sunset. It's a spectacular film, of course. The script and the acting are as top-notch as ever. When it wasn't depressing, It was funny. The characters are still spectacular. So, a great movie. BUT. I know what my problems with it are.

Beware of tiny spoilers.

Sunrise was romantic. Sunset was nostalgic. Now, Midnight was realistic. Not that the other two were not; I keep going on about how REAL the story and the characters and the dialogue have always been. Yet, not many people meet each other in a train ans then spend the most significant night of their lives in Vienna. Not many people lose touch to that potential love of their lives for nine years, until meeting them again in Paris. But majority of people, at some point of their lives, are 41 and struggling to maintain their marriages. Which sucks. Why do the romantic and the nostalgic have to give way to the realistic?

It had to happen, of course. Midnight could not have been another cheerful film about discovering or rediscovering. I don't know what I expected. Less shouting and fighting, I guess? All that shouting and fighting made me depressed. I wasn't ready for that. I had just watched Sunrise and Sunset for the millionth time, and I loved the characters and I loved their relationship. Now, here they were, sick of themselves and their lives and their relationship, shouting and fighting. Whyyyyyyyyyy. It's so wrong. I mean, if a perfect couple like Jesse and Celine can't make it, how could I ever expect to make it? Right? I found myself dreading the time I'm 41. These films have always represented realistic, but ideal life for me. Now I felt bitch-slapped. And naive. I consider myself a reasonably realistic person, aware of the excessively romanticized reality that media is shoving down our throats. And yet, Before Midnight managed to pull the rug from under my apparently wide-eyed, brainwashed, romcom-consuming bubble. Reality sucks! Bring back my unrealistically happy endings!

The main reason why I know I didn't embrace the third film as much as the previous two is that I'm 24 and single. In Sunset the characters are 32, but I am still able to identify with them and their thoughts (I'd name the second film my favorite of the three). Apparently 41 is too far. I've never had any experiences even close to the ones the characters went through in the script. It felt strange and intimidating, like a sneak peak to the scary adult world waiting for me behind a decade or two. Then again, I'm sure that for someone who has been married or in a relationship with kids for several years, the film does not seem intimidating at all. They can understand what's going on much better, perhaps take it less seriously, and most importantly, identify with it all. What you don't know will scare you.

So, this is obviously a lost battle. What I need to do is accept the fact that I didn't love Before Midnight as much and as sincerely as I wanted to, hide my Sunrise and Sunset dvd's for a couple of years, sit back, grow up, get married, have kids, have marriage crises, and then watch Midnight again. Then I'll love it. And by that time Before Noon or Before Lunchtime or Before Twilight or Before Whatever will be playing in cinemas, I hope, and I'll go see it and get myself an early midlife crisis, because who knew turning fifty could be that horrifying.

Jul 22, 2013

Orange is the New Black is my new bitch

I needed an excuse to order Netflix again, and ta-dah, there was Orange Is the New Black. They were talking about it on the radio, and 'female prison' was pretty much all I needed to hear to know I'd love this show. I watched all thirteen episodes within days and I can't wait to get more next year. Sorry for the attempted prison slang in the title, by the way, I tried my best.

Piper Chapman is leading a cozy life in New York, with her adorable soon-to-be-husband, Larry, whom everyone will associate with American Pie, but that's okay with me, because I think I've never seen a full movie in that franchise. A relationship she had with a drug dealer a decade back sends her to prison. This educated, privileged woman being in prison is weird, creepy, and kind of funny. This show is no Prison Break, where the emphasis was on the action and building up the next cliffhanger. (They're not trying to break out, which means these gals have definitely seen the later seasons of Prison Break, and they know that no good comes out of leaving that fascinating, claustrophobic milieu behind. Not that I'm bitter. But I am. Still.)

Orange concentrates on the characters, their backstories (with very Lost-esque flashbacks that I very much enjoyed) and the dynamics. The tone is relatively light, and there are a lot of comedic elements, despite the grim premise of the show. So there's loads of relationship drama, but not the lame kind. And it's not all lesbian jealousy and verbal, interracial catfights. At times, it does get almost Prison Break suspenseful, and pretty damn dark. And ah, the characters.

Typically for me, I'm not overly fond of the main character trio (except for Larry, perhaps, because he's such a darling), but I adore the variety of supporting characters. There haven't been this many fantastic female characters in the same show since EVER! From intimidating Russian ladies and meth-head Jesus freaks to hot lesbian junkies and transgendered hairdressers, this show has it all, and they all come with enormous amounts of character and attitude, and of course loads of F-bombs. It's pretty fantastic. The men of the show are mostly just evil, or stupid, or both. (Except for Larry, darling Larry. And you know I can't resist a prison guard/inmate romance. Mmmh, forbidden love, bring it!) Perhaps the show does not really do justice to the male gender, but I figure they can take it, for once in their lives. This is the women's time to shine, and show their diversity, and break 96% of all the dumb female stereotypes we've gotten used to.

Hurray for female prisons! I can't wait for next year. Then I get to do more time. As they say in prison. I think. Here's a trailer.

May 30, 2013

Spring Breakers (2012) / a chance to see something different

"I'm tired of seeing the same thing. This is our chance to see something different."

I'd been to movies fifteen times this year. After seeing The Great Gatsby last week I counted my 2013 cinema visits so far. So, fifteen. Then I counted the times that had actually managed to blow my mind a little, or shake my core, or whatever. One. That was the first movie I saw in cinema this year, The Impossible, and the core-shaking related to that experience had to do with the unnatural amount of crying, obviously. But one core-shaker in fifteen movies; I don't really like those numbers. Sure, there had been some minor shakes. Sure, I wasn't always looking for an experience that would blow up my brain. Sure, sometimes I just wanted to be entertained.

But come on. One in fifteen. I was getting really tired of seeing okay movies. Fine movies. Pretty good movies. Movies that weren't bad but they just lacked that something. I saw the Spring Breakers trailer some time ago and was a bit confused by Disney stars in bikinis and all that booty-shaking and James Franco looking extremely shady. Then I saw some reviews. So I thought I'd go see it. Might as well make it one in sixteen, right? Well, turns out Spring Breakers was just the core-shaker that I was longing for. I honestly can't tell you how happy I felt half-way through the film, as I felt my mind sneakily blowing somewhere in the back of my head. I wasn't sure what I was seeing. I had never seen anything quite like it before. It was something different, and I liked it.

Spring Breakers features four college girls, stuck in a small town with the same old faces, same old lecture halls, and the same old lectures about racial segregation, which I thought sounded so interesting I would've loved to keep listening. Hah. Nerd, I know... Everyone is heading down to Florida for spring break, for some epic partying, drinking and promiscuous activity, but the girls are out of money. They decide they need to go to Florida, whatever it takes. They need to get out and experience something different.

At some point during the film something quite random and very nerdy popped into my head. The girls' behavior reminded me very much of the Salem witch trials. Being somewhat of a semi-expert (ahem) on what went on in 1692 in the small Salem Village in New England, I thought about the girls in Salem who were bored and frustrated by the lack of meaningful activities and the few opportunities the Puritan society had to offer for them, and thus in accusing people of witchcraft they found a way to acquire power, get attention and feel worth-while. Not that different from the bored college girls who went to look for their end of the rainbow from the mixed madness of booze, drugs, sex, money and guns. Isn't that what power is? What the ultimate meaning of everything is?

The silent but powerful critique towards modern society is what made the film blow my mind away, way away. I don't really know how to talk about it. The girls set off to look for meaning, thinking they know where to find it, but returning empty-handed. Empty-headed. Empty. Their lives just as empty as before, if not emptier. The world is thoroughly messing us up, and we know it, but this won't stop it. In Spring Breakers, the endless and repetitive shots of naked or half-naked bodies, in close-up and slow-motion, should disturb you or at least affect you in some way. But you see the booties shaking right in front of your face, again and again, and you see the people screaming in the ecstasy of being wasted, young and good-looking, and you just see how embarrassing and almost grotesque the whole thing is. We see so much booty-shaking it becomes absolutely ridiculous. Isn't that the meaning of life, as it's constantly pushed down our throats? Bikinis and big booties, y'all, that's what life is about.

Many people have said the genre of the film is very difficult to determine, and I agree. But I don't ever agree when they call it a comedy. For me, it wasn't a comedy at all. I also watched a few interviews with the cast and my mind blew once again, this time because of the idiotic way the interviewers approached the film and thus the actors. I guess the beauty of the film is that there are a million different ways to see it and understand it. But I'd call the movie a tragedy rather than a comedy... A satire, yes, but not in a funny way. A cheery, sexy movie about how awesome spring breaks are? Not. At. All. That's what you'd expect, but not. At. All.

A few technical details that, in addition to the social commentary, reinforced the process of my mind being blown: James Franco and how he'd somehow managed to transform himself into insane, disgusting, yet somehow appealing maniac, who lives and breaths his twisted idea of the American dream ("Look at my shit!"). The visual look of the film combined to the hectic style of editing, making me feel almost hypnotized. Then the Everytime scene, and thinking about all the things that Britney Spears represents... It seemed both fitting and twisted in this context. There's something else too, but it's been a few days since the core-shaking now that I'm finishing up this post, and I've forgotten the feeling I had right after.

After the film I saw a commercial on TV, attempting to make men buy suits by portraying a woman seductively lifting the hem of her tiny skirt. I saw Selena Gomez parading around in a music video where every moment, every shot, every body movement and look was over-sexualized, and I thought, "Oh, girl, didn't you learn anything from your movie?". Surely everyone realizes how ridiculous they look? Everything seemed absurd, like everything was a parody of itself. I guess that's what happens when something blows your mind.

Apr 11, 2013

JK Rowling: Paikka vapaana

Kesti kauan ennen kuin sain avattua JK Rowlingin uuden kirjan. Melkein seitsemän kuukautta. Sain suomennoksen joululahjaksi, mutta lykkäsin lukemisen aloittamista pohtimalla, että voinkohan minä nyt oikeasti lukea tämän kirjan suomeksi. Minulle tuli joku typerä ajatus, että jos luen kirjan suomeksi, en ole oikeasti lukenut sitä, en niin kuin Rowling sen tarkoitti luettavaksi. Kuinka voisin vertailla kirjoitustyyliä ja sanavalintoja kirjailijan aikaisempiin teoksiin kun lukisin oikeastaan vain suomentajan tekstiä? Nuo aikaisemmat teoksethan ovat syy siihen, miksi minäkin haluan lukea The Casual Vacancyn. Samalla aikaisempi tuotanto on myös se asia, joka teki lukemisen aloittamisesta hieman nihkeää. Miten tämän kirjan voisi ikinä lukea olematta vähintään hippusen pettynyt? Miten se voisi ikinä vastata odotuksiin? Miten sitä voisi olla vertaamatta siihen maagiseen seitsemän kirjan sarjaan, jonka voittanutta maailmasta tuskin ikinä tulee löytämään?

Lopulta järjistyin sen verran, että karistin epäilykseni sekä kirjaa että suomen kieltä kohtaan ja avasin hyllyssä säälittävän kauan odotelleen painokseni. Yhteys Harry Potteriin oli hyvä sysätä mielestä, ja näiden kahden totaalisen erilaisen maailman oli helppo unohtaa olevan peräisin samasta mielikuvituksesta. Suomeksi lukemiseen tottui tietenkin nopeasti, ja vain ajoittain, esimerkiksi slangia ja kiroilua ja muuta kulttuurisidonnaista dialogia lukiessani, toivoin rinnalle alkuperäiskäännöstä. Jossain vaiheessa toki minun on pakko lukea myös Rowlingin ihkaoma teksti, mutta Ilkka Rekiaron suomennos on oikein hyvä. Eikä tarina miksikään muutu vaikka kieli muuttuukin. Tässäpä siis ajatuksiani JK Rowlingin Paikka vapaana -kirjasta, ihan omalla kotimaisellani tällä kertaa. Tuntuu vähän oudolta, mutta niin tuntui sekin kun aloitin kirjoittamaan tätä postausta englanniksi. Luin kirjan suomeksi, joten ajatuksetkin muodostuivat suomeksi. Anteeksi pilkkuvirheistä ja typeristä lauserakenteista. Useamman kerran olen joutunut käyttämään sanakirjaa: 'Mikäs se narrow-minded onkaan suomeksi...?'. Ehkä tämä on kovinkin tarpeellista harjoitusta kanditutkielman kypsyysnäytettä varten...


Englantilaisesta Pagfordin pikkukaupungista löytyy pelkästään surkeita ihmiskohtaloita. Ihmiset ovat pikkumaisia, masentuneita, harhaluuloisia, katkeria, itsekkäitä, kyynisiä, pinnallisia, säälittäviä, vahingoniloisia, välinpitämättömiä, teeskenteleviä tai yksinkertaisesti inhottavia. Rowling kuvaa laajan hahmokavalkadinsa ajatuksia brutaalin rehellisesti, kaunistelematta, niitä kaikkein kuvottavimpiakaan yksityiskohtia salaamatta. Padfordissa ei ole hyviä, jaloja, tai vilpittömän onnellisia ihmisiä. Hahmoihin tutustuessa haluat kiintyä herttaisen oloiseen rouvaan tai harmittomaan aviomieheen, mutta oletukset herttaisuudesta ja harmittomuudesta murskataan muutaman lauseen kuluttua. Vanhukset ovat ahdasmielisiä ja itsekeskeisiä, aviomiehet ovat kamalia vaimoilleen, jotka vastineeksi ovat kamalia aviomiehilleen, ja teinit ovat ahdistuneita, ilkeitä ja epäsympaattisia. Mitä näistä hahmoista pitäisi ajatella? Onko minun tarkoitus kiintyä näihin säälittäviin ihmisiin? Miten muka pystyn välittämään heidän kohtaloistaan?

Rowling kertoo miten. Tai ei kerro, mutta antaa vain yhden vaihtoehdon: Jatka lukemista. Olin päässyt kirjassa melkein puoleen väliin kun ajattelin, 'ei tässä oikeastaan mitään ole tapahtunut, mutta hyvä kirja tämä silti on'. Kirja tempaisee mukaansa, joskaan ei samalla, riemastuttavalla tavalla kuin vaikka Potterit. Lukemista on kuitenkin pakko jatkaa, ja viimeiset luvut tuleekin ahmittua melkein kuin Deathly Hallowsin loppu konsanaan: kirjan alas laskeminen ei ollut vaihtoehto. Hahmot tulevat pikku hiljaa tutuiksi (niiden listaaminen paperille oli hyvä idea: keskeisiä hahmoja on nimittäin enemmän kuin sormillaan pystyy laskemaan), ja kyllä vain, niistä oppii välittämään, kuin vaivihkaa. Ilkeydelle löytyy syy, ja se alkaa jopa vaikuttaa sankarilliselta. Pikkumaisuuden voi antaa anteeksi kun saa kurkata hahmon menneisyyteen. Ymmärrät miksi vaimo on niin välinpitämätön miestänsä kohtaan. Saat katsoa tuskallisen läheltä mitä huumekierre saa aikaan koko perheessä. Myötätunto ja kiintymys nostavat päätään, ja lopuksi tunnet ripauksen sympatiaa jopa sitä kaikista vastemielisintä hahmoakin kohtaan. Uskomatonta, mutta totta.

Kirjan hahmovalikoiman laajuudesta sen verran, että se oli minusta ihan mahtavaa. Kaikkien hahmojen tarinat nivoutuvat yhteen tavalla tai toisella, ja oli vaan todella kiehtovaa lukea samoista tapahtumista ja ihmisistä useammasta näkökulmasta. Jotkut hahmot tietysti kiehtovat enemmän kuin toiset. Teinien edesottamuksista luin kiinnostuneempana kuin paikallispolitiikaa päivittelevien keski-ikäisten, mutta se varmaan johtuu vain siitä, että itse olen tähän mennessä kokenut teini-iän, mutten keski-ikää. Ne harvat sympatiaani koko ajan nauttineet hahmot olivat nimenomaan nuorta polvea. Heidän moraalittomat tekonsa ja karut ajatuksensa antaa helpommin anteeksi kuin aikuisten, koska syyn kaikkeen löytää lähempää, vanhemmista ja ympäristöstä, ja inhottavuuden keskeltä huomaa silti vielä pilaantumatonta lapsen viattomuutta ja toiveikkuutta.

Tapahtumat saavat siis alkunsa Barry Fairbrother -nimisen miehen äkillisestä ja koruttomasta kuolemasta, jonka myötä paikallisvaltuustoon vapautuu kallisarvoinen ja haviteltu paikka. Kunnallisvaalien ympärille rakentuvan tarinan ei odottaisi olevan niin mukaansatempaava, kiehtova ja syväluotaava kuin Paikka vapaana lopulta on. Ihmiskohtalot kietoutuvat yhteen, syyt ja seuraukset johtavat uusiin, ja pienet asiat sysäävät liikkeelle suuria, elämää mullistavia tapahtumia. Kaikki tarinat saavat omanlaisensa päätöksen; ei ehkä onnellisen, mutta lukijan tyydyttävän. Elämä jatkuu, ja voit vain toivoa, että Pagfordin asukkaat ovat Barry Fairbrotherin kuoleman käynnistämien tapahtumien seurauksena ottaneet edes hieman opikseen karun elämän opetuksista.

Paikka vapaana oli minusta todella masentava. Haluan aina uskoa ihmisistä hyvää, ja tämä kirja teki siitä todella vaikeaa. Koska eivät pelkästään Pagfordin asukkaat ole kamalia, vaan kaikki ihmiset. Hahmojen ajatusten kuvaukset ovat piinallisen realistisia, ja niistä tunnistaa ihmisluonnon perusominaisuuksia. Katsot ympärillesi ja näet, että maailma on oikeasti ihan yhtä typerä kuin fiktiivinen Pagford. Ahdistavinta on kuitenkin nähdä palanen itseään siellä täällä tuossa kamaluuksien ja yksityisten, häpeällisten ajatusten vyyhdissä. Halusin tehdä eron itseni ja lähiympäristöni, ja kirjan säälimättömän ihmiskuvauksen välillä, mutta pakkohan se oli myöntää, että kaikissa meissä on pikkumaisuutta, ilkeyttä, itsekkyyttä ja inhottavuutta. Jollain lailla tämän myöntäminen tuntuu myös vapauttavalta.

Kirjan luettuani en kuitenkaan tuntenut oloani yhtään niin masentuneeksi kuin odottaa saattoi. Jouduin räpyttelemään kyyneleitä ja sydäntä väänsi se, kuinka kamala paikka maailma on, mutta masentuneisuutta en tuntenut. En kyllä oikeastaan tiedä mitä tunsin, mutta jotain aika suurta se oli. Sitten tietysti tunsin velvollisuutta rakentaa jonkinlainen alttari Joanne Rowlingille. Jestas, mikä tarinankertoja.

Apr 8, 2013

Warm Bodies (2013) / love cures all

"Don't be creepy. Don't be creepy. Don't be creepy."

Zombie is the new vampire. In the race for the title of the hottest undead, Alexander Skarsgård just got some competition. I wonder which freak of nature pop culture will choose to be the next wet dream for female masses around the world. The could do Frankenstein monsters. Or maybe mummies should make a comeback, but this time, you know, hot. Just think how the bloody bandages would unravel to reveal the toned body of some Hollywood hunk. Mm hm. I'm feeling it. The mummy returns again. Perhaps wearing a cute, red hoodie.

Let me just say, first, that I really support the idea of banning everyone under-aged from cinemas. I know I was an annoying giggling teenager once, too, but I was never that bad. I totally would've shut up if some scary-looking older female person had turned around and stared at me, pissed off. But no! I want to say, 'Kids these days!', but I don't want to sound that old. Anyway, I really wanted to turn into a zombie and eat the brains of those loud, annoying, inconsiderate, bad-behaving teenage boys. Then I would've learned what the heck is wrong with them, not being able to just SHUT UP. Probably I would've found out something shocking, like, 'I'm a teenage boy, loud and inconsiderate is what I do'. Well. I hope my angry glances taught them a lesson. My glances can be very educative, you know.

Back to the point. I was always eager to see Warm Bodies, ever since I saw the trailer (which, by the way, reveals too much; Trailers these days! Ugh!). I know my taste in movies quite well, so I know I wouldn't be able resist a romantic horror comedy. With a contributor like Nicholas Hoult involved. And zombies. Zombies are fun. There is a lot of comedy in the way they just say "uuuuuuurgh" and stare. I really want to see the outtakes of the scene where R and his friend have that 'conversation'. And the voice-over made me want to read the book.

Nicholas Hoult does have a special place in my heart, and the girly, giggly fangirl in me finds him very enjoyable to look at. This is a strange thing to admit, but I found him much more good-looking as a half-zombie-half-human than full-human. Full-human was too pretty, too Tony from Skins. Speaking of too pretty, I kept thinking how wrong the people who compare this movie to Twilight are. If this was like Twilight, the girl would've been like, "Ooooh, I want to be dead like you! Bite me! BITE ME!". I actually liked the girl character, and Analeigh from America's Next Top Model was a lot of fun. I remember watching her in the show, and rooting for her, and I remember Tyra saying that she should pursue acting.

Warm Bodies was a very sweet, entertaining movie, just what I wanted and expected. The plot was very simple and straight-forward, and it didn't try to be more epic or ground-shattering than it was. I found it a surprisingly sincere and down-to-earth kind of movie. Just enough romance, just enough horror, just enough comedy. Although undeniably predictable, it didn't feel cliched or cheesy. It made me feel good. It's a movie you would hug if you could. Love cures all - even a zombie apocalypse.