(When I say Marathon I really mean Marathon) This time: a silly mermaid, a street rat and a boy who would not grow up

So. I'm planning a well-deserved break from Disney. I'm not sure if it'll last, but anyway. I have one more FREAKING EPIC Disney post coming up (plus the story about my day in Disneyland), and then. A break. Maybe. I'll let Lost to take all my time.

The Little Mermaid (1989)

I don't know if it's because I might've seen too many Disney films recently (apparently that's possible after all), but The Little Mermaid kind of annoyed me. It wasn't one of my childhood faves, so I was free to look at it more critically. First, Ariel is just kind of foolish. I know, I know it's love at first sight and all that, but to be ready to risk your life and leave your family (which this time is actually a good, loving one) behind to get to woo the cute boy you saw one little glance of? Come ON, girl! Some very unbalanced teenage hormones must be at work there... If I was her father, I would've locked her in her room (or nail her fins to the floor) for a few years to wait for the most critical age to pass. Also, that idiotic smile of hers just started to annoy me at some point. Those flapping eyelashes, too. I guess you can't afford playing even a little hard to get, when you can't trust your splendid verbal talents.

Second. The prince, Eric (who is sort of good-looking, I give you that, Ariel), isn't the prince I'd go with if they put all Disney princes in line. (Who WOULD I go with? Keep reading...) He gets that silly obsession about that voice, and he doesn't really fall for Ariel until he finds out the voice is hers. Before that she's just a pretty smiling plan B girl to him. Who he can't even manage to kiss! That's the most frustrating part, when they are rowing at the lake, isn't that really so hard to give a little kiss? So what, your boat's gone over. Kiss her in the water, you stupidhead!

Third. Disney is always about being yourself. Wrong, not this time! It's apparently better to be a human than a mermaid. Lesson learned.

... Alright. I'm not really that furious about this subject. Sorry if I insulted your childhood idol. If I watched my favourite Disney movies critically, I'd of course find things I don't like. But still. Ariel is now officially the most annoying Disney princess. That teenage brat.

"Somebody's got to nail that girl's fins to the floor."
 

Peter Pan (1953)

Okay. Another little disappointment. I really like the story of Peter Pan, but the movie wasn't as good as I remembered. Shame! I found myself glancing at the clock, which is quite uncommon with Disney films, as their avarage running time is less than hour and a half. Still. Oh I don't know. Also Wendy was somehow very annoying. I though that was the case only with the recent live action version, but no, the animated Wendy was just as annoying. Tinkerbell was amusing, though! I've been meaning to read J.M. Barrie's original story for a long time... One of these days. I guess. Second star to the right and straight on till morning!

"But, Captain, wouldn't it be more humane-like to slit his throat?"

Aladdin (1992)

Now, the Disney prince I'd go with? Aladdin was a pleasant surprise! I hadn't watched it in ages, and it wasn't a childhood favourite, either, but unlike in the two cases above, I wasn't disappointed. Aladdin is so cool! For an example, see his introduction scene, One jump ahead. Man, I think "he's rather tasty", too. So, a potential Prince Charming with a dashing smile? Check that! A princess with a personality? Check. A cool baddie? Check. Cute animal friends? Check. (Iago isn't that cute, but I think it's funny how he pretends to be just a normal parrot. And he switches sides later, right?) A chubby future father-in-law? Check. Awesome songs? Check, oh freaking check! Throw in a genie with the voice of Robin Williams, and you've got yourself quite a competent Disney adventure!

Now. I know Disney wouldn't be Disney without a happyhappy ending, but they get kind of boring after seeing a dozen of them in the dozen movies you've watched in a row. Of course I wanted to a happily ever after for Aladdin and Yasmine, but the way they always do it (smiling and cheering and fireworks and birds singing) just flattens an otherwise rocking movie a bit. Oh well. Let Disney do it Disney-way. I bet I would bitch about it, if they once did it differently.

"Oh, Al. I'm gettin' kinda fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything."

"Guys... where are we?"

I'll tell you where we are! We are at the beginning of an EPIC project, also known as The Complete Lost Marathon! I was meaning to start it a little later, as there's still a month or two till I'll get my hands on the season 6 DVD box set, but I just felt like getting it going tonight. I'll just have to keep this thing sensible, not like last time I had a Lost Marathon - it was after four seasons, and I watched them all in eight days. You can imagine I didn't leave the house much that week. Ah, good times. Anyway, I try not to watch more than four episodes a day. I still have plenty of drafts to finish, and a stack of dvd's to watch... Oh well. Luckily I have to start studying again in a few weeks, so I'll get a little sense in this life again.

But oh freaking yeah, I've now watched the pilot - both parts - and I've been laughing at the jokes I've heard a hundred times before (and I'm not even exaggerating that much), and almost crying at the ingenuity and complexity of the story ahead. I almost feel like taking notes and writing down every little moment and piece of dialogue I love, but I don't want to ruin my experience by concentrating on something else other than watching. Plus, that would be a very, very, VERY long list.

"Does anyone know how to use a gun?"

"I think you just pull the trigger."

Ah!

Veronika Decides to Die (2009) - not so mad about the film version

directed by Emily Young / starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jonathan Tucker, David Thelwis

I just recently read Paulo Coelho's book Veronika Decides to Die (here's my post about it). This is the film version. (I had a moment of uncertainty as I was wondering which Disney film to watch next - seriously, that's all I've been watching after Paris - and as I wasn't particularly drawn to any of my options, I tapped the situation and chose to see this one instead. Kind of refreshing, I must say! Though I almost expected talking little animal friends to jump from behind a couch and sing a merry little song. Haha.)

The film quite carefully follows the plot of the book it's based on. Veronika now lives in America (though she still has Slovenian parents), but considers her seemingly perfect life just as worthless as the book's Veronika does. She decides to take an overdose of sleeping pills to finish it all, but ends up in a phychiatric insitution called, again, Villette, where she's told that her heart will fail her any day now. And that's when she begins to find a will to live.

I've never been the biggest fan of Sarah Michelle Gellar, but I think she makes a pretty good Veronika. She sure looks miserable, but doesn't over-do it. Jonathan Tucker plays Edward (an Americanized version of the book's Eduard) and he's cute and sounds just like Tobey Maguire and mostly just sits in a tree and stares with those big eyes of his. David Thelwis plays Dr Blake, who's in charge of Villette, and he only reminds of that lousy movie version of Remus Lupin.

The other patiens don't get as much attention as they do in the book, which is understandable but still a shame. They concentrate mostly on what happens between Veronika and Edward. The discussion about the concept of 'mad' was my favourite thing in the book, but it's been forced to give room to the personal story of Veronika. Also, the film doesn't quite succeed in creating the mood the book did from first page on. That's why a story like this is better written.

PS: In one scene they played a very nice Swedish song. Damn you, Swedes. You win again.

"I wasn't myself last night... or maybe I really was."

Today on Disney Marathon: indians, aliens and cross-dressing Chinese warriors

Looks like watching every Disney animation ever made has sneakily become my rest of the summer's mission impossible. Well. Disneyland got me brainwashed real good, and what else can you do when you just don't feel like watching anything with real actors and proper plots and no happyhappy songs at all. So I sit down comfily and watch once-upon-a-times turn into happily-ever-afters over and over again. And it's just swell! This phase will change into something else eventually, but I'm in no hurry at all.

This punch of animations once again took me to different places, different eras, different cultures, and also planted me a need to travel to Hawaii and to China and to live like Indians, in total harmony with nature. These go straight to the bottom of my (very long) to-do list... Anyway.

Pocahontas (1995)

Okay. I know I say this about pretty much every Disney classic, but I love Pocahontas and it has to be one of my favourites. It's great that Disney made the true story about European savagery and that one unexpectable relationship into a movie - there was a bit of that good old Disney censorship involved, of course, but anyway. Pocahontas is my second favourite Disney princess (after Belle). She has that awesome wild child thing going on and oh, that gorgeous hair. John Smith ("You have a very unusual name, too!" Haha.) is kind of hot, and this time the animal friends didn't bother me, much. (That has to be like a norm in a Disney guidebook old Walt once wrote: 'Rule #87: At least one cute animal friend must be included. If there should be two of them, one is to be silly and the other slightly neurotic. They should fall down a lot and be hit by things.')

Anyway. The songs of Pocahontas are excellent, for once there's not one boring song! By the way, I watched this with a friend, and we came to talk about what actors we'd cast if a live action version was made (I mean not like The New World, but strictly version of the Disney film), and she said Thomas is just like Zac Efron. And yeah. Now I can't look at him without seeing Zac Efron. Oh well. I'd really like to see more of these stories made into live action films. I mean, Alice in Wonderland was pretty nice to watch! ... Okay, now I'm thinking Johnny Depp as Governor Radcliffe, and I'm not sure if I like the thought. Could be cool, though. Ummm, oh Mr Burton...?

"Do you think we'll meet some savages?"
"If we do, we shall be sure to give them a proper English greeting."
"Ooh, gift baskets!"

 Lilo & Stitch (2002)

I used to watch this over and over again, maybe a time or two too many. It wasn't as funny as it used to be, but kind of sweet anyway. The ugly duckling and Ohana means family, and stuff. And how the aliens can't blow up the Earth, because there's an endangered species - mosquitos - living there. And Elvis is always a plus! And Hawaii, even animated, looks wooooonderful! Me wants to go so baaaad.

"He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone's left shoe."

Mulan (1998)

Mulan is a cool movie. Disney princesses rarely get to kick ass, but Mulan doesn't let her prince have all the fun. She's no damsel in distress! She starts out as a clumsy misfit, unable to bring honour to her family, nor pride to her ancestors, and ends up as a hero of all of China. You go girl! In many ways Mulan is about love for family and your country, rather than romantic love, which is just refreshing. For me, the gratest comic relief isn't Mushu, the annoying little dragon, but Mulan's rocking grandmother ("Do you want to stay for dinner?" "Do you want to stay FOREVER?"). Oh and did I mention I want to travel to China, very bad? Well, I do. (I saw a Karate Kid making of on TV yesterday, and yeeeeees. China or Hawaii, which one first?)

"I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy."

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) - a story sung by the bells of Our Lady

directed by Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise / voices by Tom Hulce, Demi Moore, Tony Jay

My top 5 Paris movies, #4

Quasimodo's mother dies when he's a baby and the evil judge Frollo is forced to become his guardian. Frollo makes him a bellringer in Notre Dame and manipulates him to stay away from the public. Only when the 20-year-old Quasimodo befriends a beautiful Gypsy dancing girl Esmeralda, he begins to question his master. 

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is maybe the most underrated Disney film. At the time of its release I watched it again and again and again and still today it remains one of my favourites.

In many ways Hunchback is different from the avarage Disney classic. Its tone is considerably darker, some parts are surprisingly scary and difficult for a child to comprehend and process (like the prologue, where we witness the death of Quasi's mother, and musical scene, where Frollo is tormented by the attraction he feels towards Esmeralda). It's also unusually realistic - no talking animals or fairy godmothers (the gargoyles talk and move, alright, but I interpret this as Quasi's imagination). And the central character isn't a gorgeous prince, who automatically gets the beautiful princess.

Quasimodo is so sweet and it's impossible not to like him. Esmeralda has to be the most seductively beautiful and sexy Disney princess (okay, not a princess, but anyway... Hercules' Meg falls under the same category as well). She intentionally uses her looks in her provocative dance, but of course there's the more Disney side of her, too. Frollo is evil, so evil, and a very very good baddie. I know I was scared of him as a kid. Reminds me a bit of The Lion King's Scar.

The music in Hunchback is amazing. There are the traditional Disney-ish songs: the wistful love-oh-love song, the oh-how-I-wish-things-were-otherwise-and-so-help-me-god-some-day-they-will-be song early on in the film and so on. Bells of Notre Dame is no doubt my favourite - it's flamboyant and grand and dramatic, almost like opera, and it gives me goosebumbs every time. Even that YouTube video did it! God Help the Outcast is also beautiful. Notre Dame itself plays a very important part in the songs and the film, offering an atmospheric and beautiful setting for the story.

The movie is loosely based on a classic novel. I say loosely, because the movie has been thoroughly Disney-fied. I haven't read the novel myself, but apparently it's very dark and even depressive. The charactes are all corrupted and feeble, no true heroes or heroines. (A cynic might say, more realistic.) Sex plays a major role (and not always in very nice contexts) and almost everyone dies a horrible death. Somehow I think the Disney version is enough for me.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame was one of the last true Disney classics (there were good films like Hercules, Mulan and Lilo & Stitch after. Yeah, I kind of like Lilo & Stitch.). After it Pixar started to take over (which, as we know today, isn't a bad thing at all), and Disney itself has released mainly lousy sequels. I haven't seen the most recent animation, The Princess and the Frog, but somehow I feel it won't top Hunchback, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, etc...

But still. Thank god for Disney.

"Now here is a riddle / To guess if you can / Sing the bells of Notre Dame / Who is the monster / And who is the man?/ Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells / Bells of Notre Dame"

Marie Antoinette (2006) - royally ridiculous

 directed by Sofia Coppola / starring Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzman

My top 5 Paris movies, #5

I first saw this a few years back with pretty high expectations - didn't like it much. Then saw it again pre-Paris with slightly lower expectations - liked it more. I was able to concentrate on the main thing: the visual part of the film, which is indeed quite amazing.

Marie Antoinette is a tale of the iconic queen of France, loosely based on her historical counterpart. The film's Marie Antoinette, just like the real one, was married to Ludvig XVI as a young girl and thus became the queen, living fabulously luxurious life in the palace of Versailles, and later - through scandals and frustration of the people of France - became a victim of the revolution.

 I've always kind of liked Kirsten Dunst. She hasn't really ever done anything breathtaking, but stars in little sweet movies I often like. And she fits well in the role of the young queen, who's naive and perplexed in front of the challenge of growing up in the utterly confusing environment that Versailles must have been. Jason Schwartzman plays her poor sissy little husband, and he's good. I was also glad to spot Inception's Tom Hardy in a small role!

The film, obviously, tells about Marie Antoinette's life in Versailles - how she got settled in, how she got used to all the ridiculous rutines of the palace (em, the dressing and undressing ceremonies, anyone? Come on...), how her poor sissy little husband was very poor, sissy and little, and how they finally managed to fulfill the expectations and produce an heir for the crown.

The most enjoyable parts, for me, were the scenes where they just had ridiculous amounts of fun and made the most of the relaxed life they were lucky enough to be able to lead. The parties, the cakes, the shoes and outrageous hairdos. I especially liked the scene where they sat by the enourmous lake in the garden, watching the sunrise. (I like it even more now that I've actually seen the lake!)

 

 Like I said before, for me the most important thing in the film is what you see. The clothes, the hair, the jewelry, the shoes, the palace, the ridiculous luxury. Thus all these million pictures! I think they make my point better than I can myself.

Marie Antoinette is kind of a queer little film, and it can difficult to decide how you should look at it. On one hand, it looks like an accurate historical potrayal of true events - the costumes and the setting (was is actually shot in Versailles...? Either that or the set designers really rock) seem really plausible. On the other hand, then... It a roughly modernized version of the era - in their ball they dance to groovy rock music. This is probably why some people might find Coppola's interpretation offending. And probably why the film was booed at Cannes.

The film obviously shouldn't be looked at as an documentary of any kind - just a story merely INSPIRED by actual people and events. (For me, the biggest inaccuracy was that everyone was so skinny even though they spent their days eating cake. Oh well, they took walks in that HUGE garden, that might explain something.) But hey, there is at least one correct thing and it's the potrait of the queen and her children. I spotted it in the palace in Versailles and it was just like in the film. (And didn't I feel wise, knowing who the people in the painting were! Ha. My moment to shine. Except that the only person I could've shown off with my wisdom was my friend, who also recognized the people in the painting. So much for shining! Anyway.) Here's a picture. (Isn't kind of silly to photograph paintings? Well, guilty as charged.)

For the quote there's really only one option. I used it before, but it just summarizes the film better than anything else could. Plus one more picture to back up the quote's statement.

"This is ridiculous."

"This, Madame, is Versailles."

Amen!

Disney Marathon: a princess trible + a mytholocigal hero

The day before yesterday I sat down with my sister and we watched some Disney movies. Because we kind of like Disney movies. Here they are, in short.

 Beauty and the Beast (1991)

(Here's my earlier post about the film.) I'm very close to proclaiming Beauty and the Beast my favourite Disney animation. But I don't dare! However, I dare say that it is one heck of a movie and I just love it. We watched the old VHS version (which still worked surprisingly well!), and awww. I'd almost forgotten how great the Finnish voices are! Belle must be my favourite Disney princess (that I just dare to say) and Beast could very possibly be the best Disney prince. He's got some personality, unlike, say, Snow White's prince (no offence, your majesty, but what do do? Sing a song and kiss the girl, that's it).

"Well, there's the usual things: flowers... chocolates... promises you don't intend to keep..."

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)

Snow White was Disney's first full-lenght animation, which shows, if in nothing else, then in the princess. She's the archetype of all the Disney princesses to come: breathtakingly beautiful, clear-voiced, innocent, kind-hearted, charming, never giving up her dreams and always making friends with various little animals. And a bit boring, dare I say? I mean, there have certainly been more interesting personalities after Snow White. But, not to sound more harsh I mean to, Snow White is the mother of all Disney movies, the fairytale of fairytales, a truly wonderful story, a classic in the deepest sense of the word. And of course, it gave us Grumpy.

"Angel, ha! She's a female! And all females is poison! They're full of wicked wiles!"

Cinderella (1950)

Cinderella was my favourite princess growing up - it was her I would pretend to be in my little imaginary games, and yeah, she's great, isn't she? Despite some annoying animal friends (I'm not pointing at anyone in particular... but the mice, the talking mice), she's sweet, she has some amazing nerves, and optimism, too, and that ball dress, oh man, it's gorgeous. Except that the glass slippers can't be very comfy, can they? I love Cinderella, but the king is just disturbing. Man, he's got some problems. How about some anger management?

"You are the only ladies of the household, I hope, er, I presume?"

 Hercules (1997)

This is not quite comparable to the three classic princess tales, but there's something hugely hilarious about Hercules. The songs are groovy, the dialogue is wonderfully fast and witty, Greek mythology is fascinating and Hades is a great great Baddie, Herc is wonderfully awkward and sweet and Meg has that personality Snow White lacked. And here, let me present to you two of my favourite lines:

"We know everything - past, present and future. Indoor plumbing, it's gonna be big." (The Fates)

"Um... guys? Olympus would be that way." (Hades to the Titans, going to DESTROY ZEUS, FREEZE ZEUS, MELT ZEUS, CRUSH HIM.)

PS. I promise I'll watch a non-Disney, non-animated film, soon. Cross my heart. 'Soon' is relative concept, but anyway...