Preparing for the Oscars 2013

Oscar night is tonight. This year I won't be blogging my way through the night, which is a relief for anyone who attempted to read my running commentary for last year's gala. I will, however, as tradition goes, eat until I burst, and enjoy the heck out of myself, even though they will, as tradition goes, be rewarding all the wrong films and people.

I am unusually undetermined this year. I don't have a clear favorite, or even definite instinctive preferences. Only that I don't wish Argo to win. I'm not really on track about which film is expected to win, but I think Argo has won many other awards, right? I hope Argo won't win. That would be boring. Kind of like the movie. Okay, boring is not the right word. Underwhelming is.

Here are some categories that I have opinions about. They are very sophisticated and reasonable opinions about who I have determined should win. As you will see, I have really put much thought and consideration on this.

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Visual effects: The Avengers. And the Oscar goes to Captain America! What's the category? Who cares!

Make-up: The Hobbit. The little brother of Lord of the Rings deserves at least one Oscar, right?

Costume design: Anna Karenina. Mm-hm. Excellent costume designing here, yes. I'm not talking about Anna's dresses. I'm talking about uniforms that go great with the hottest mustache in history.

Cinematography: Life of Pi. I'm thinking about that underwater shot where Pi sees the sinking ship. That was a cool shot. Oscar-worthy, perhaps.

Animated film: Brave. I haven't seen any of the other animations, but I know for sure none of them features as much amazing hair as Brave.

Adapted screenplay: Life of Pi. Just a hunch.

Original screenplay: Django Unchained. Tarantino screenplays are hard to beat in originality!

Directing: Ang Lee. The Academy needs to make amends for robbing Brokeback Mountain that damn Best Picture Oscar. They need to make amends until the world ends. And then some.

Supporting actress: Anne Hathaway. For looking so damn miserable. And losing all that weight for a film that featured her only for what seemed like fifteen minutes.

Supporting actor: Christoph Waltz. He should get another Oscar for Hans Landa. That role was a bingo.

Actress: Jennifer Lawrence / Jessica Chastain / Naomi Watts. I love J-Law. Loooove her. But Jessica Chastain is so cool, too. And damn me, if she wears a dress as gorgeous as the one last year... I'm sold! But Naomi Watts is the only nominee in all the categories representing The Impossible. That film was crazy, I'd give it the Best Picture Oscar just for making me cry so much. So much. So insanely much. But Jennifer it is. Because she's my hero and my girl crush and she's such a dork.

Actor: Um. I really don't know. I mean, isn't it sort of given that Abraham "DDL" Lincoln triumphs? But I don't know. That would be boring.

Finally, an in-depth analysis on every Best picture contender:

Amour. Haven't seen it. It's French. So maybe I wouldn't like it. I'm intimidated by French films. Expect for silent black-and-white ones, featuring a dog.

Argo. I just don't want this one to win. It was so underwhelming. Bad, bad Middle-East. American heroes, blah. Okay, let's pretend my biggest hero of 2012 was not called Captain America.

Beasts of the Southern Wild. Haven't seen it, yet.

Django Unchained. Wouldn't mind if it won, not at all. It's quite a movie. It would actually be pretty awesome if it won. I promise I would cheer. But that's not going to happen, right? It would be too good if it did.

Les Misérables. I just went to see this one, in the afternoon before the Oscars, so I can't really say anything about it, because I'm too busy humming Do You Hear the People Sing in my head.

Life of Pi. Strange. I feel like I might be rooting for this one. That one little twist at the end of the film has definitely stuck with me.

Lincoln. Missed it in theaters. Points for American history. Points for the emancipation of slaves. But I can't imagine connecting with a film like this very much, if at all. Let's just say that I'm prejudiced, and won't be voting for America's favorite president.

Silver Linings Playbook. I've been having a hard time with this film. I wanted to love it. I didn't. I just liked it. But then again, I was really tired when I saw it. And even if I didn't love the film, I do love Jennifer Lawrence. So I will rooting for SLP as well. Not quite as much as I will be rooting for Life of Pi, Django Unchained and perhaps Les Misérables, but anyway. It's a romcom, in its core. Romcoms don't win Oscars. I'd love if for once they would.

Zero Dark Thirty. This was a really cool and interesting film, and Jessica Chastain's girl power was amazing. I would totally approve if it won. With all the controversy, though, I doubt it ever could.

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So. I am wonderfully non-opinionated about everything. All I know is that I don't want Argo to win. Which means it probably will. Well. I got what I wanted last year, with The Artist, so maybe this year it's time for another King's Speech scale travesty. This Social Network fanatic will never forgive you, Tom Hooper! Now, if you'll excuse, I'll go listen to On My Own and pretend you didn't have anything to do with all the goosebumps I experienced at the cinema today.

The Impossible (2012) / two hours on the verge of tears

"The most scary bit for me... when I came up, and I was all on my own."

When it comes to movies, I'm definitely a weeper. But I tend to save most of the weeping to times when I'm alone: I'm not a cinema weeper. I get a bit teary-eyed, or sometimes I even have to hastily wipe my cheek for an escaped little tear that I couldn't blink away. But I don't openly bawl like a baby. Although apparently there are exceptions. Or an exception. I've never cried in a cinema like I just did! Really, it was exhausting.

It's been eight years since Boxing Day 2004. Horrible things have happened after that, too, executed by both people and nature, but the tsunami in South East Asia is likely to linger on everyone's minds, because it so closely touched so many people, all over the world. The Impossible tells the true story of one of the families, caught in the middle of the horrifying mayhem.

The film was good. I can't say I liked it, because I don't think anyone can really like weeping for two straight hours, but it was a very good film. It doesn't feast in the horribleness of the true events, and the wave part itself (even if the one of the scariest, most distressing scenes ever) is over very soon, so the emphasis stays on the family, and their desperate quest to reunite. I was actually really scared, expecting the wave, knowing it would come soon, and I just wished I could have continued to watch the idyllic family holiday in the paradise. The special effects were horrifyingly convincing. I adore oceans, love staring at them, but the sea was the villain in The Impossible. Scary as hell, too.

Acting-wise the film was quite perfect. Naomi Watts has already snapped several nominations, and for a reason: she had to cry almost as much as I did. The young Tom Holland, playing the eldest son of the family, has also been recognized. Personally, I think his role was the most challenging one, and he quite unexpectedly ended up being the most significant person in the story, for me. He's so going to be a star, that kid. (Just found out Tom Holland was actually playing Billy Elliot in the musical in London at the time I went to see it. I wish I'd remember if he was the Billy in the performance I saw...) Ewan McGregor pulled my poor heartstrings, too, with all that emotion of a desperate father and husband. (Having just re-watched the Star Wars prequels, I couldn't help but wonder, between all the tears, where in the hell was all that emotion when he needed it in the Revenge of the Sith? Oh well, too good acting by him would've looked weird beside all that other awkward, melodramatic "acting"...)

By the way, Charlie Chaplin's daughter was in the film, too! I didn't realize it when watching her scene; only when I saw her name in the end credits I was able to link it to her face. Thanks for the tears, Geraldine! I must have had dry eyes for at least a minute and then you came along... I must say the youngest brothers acted extremely well, too, for being so young. And they were very cute.

I have one big critique. The trailer for this film SUCKS! I genuinely hope I had not seen it before seeing the film. It is one of those stupid trailers that give way too much away. I realized that immediately after watching the trailer. Too much information, and not in a good way! It should come with a warning: "Watching this trailer will ruin all the suspense of watching the film for you! Also, don't wear mascara to the cinema."

To return to the weeping thing (like I hadn't been referring to the weeping thing in every other sentence)... Seriously, this was a cinema crying record! Almost any film crying record! When I wasn't openly bawling  my eyes out and getting my whole face soaking wet, I was blinking or swallowing a lump in my throat. I can't come up with a film more emotionally exhausting... Well, Schindler's List, maybe, but that one's in a league of its own.

The Impossible is not the kind of film you'd want to see again and again. Once is enough. It's heavy, devastating, and exhaustingly moving. It gives you a piece of hope, only to point out how horrible things still are, and there's no way this story can end happily. It reminds you that Christmas 2004 was really not that long ago, and this is a film that many people around the world will not go see, because eight years is not enough to get over certain things. It shows that reality beats fiction, any day. It makes you want to go and hug your family, embarrassingly tight.

Like I said to my friend when we parted, I definitely need to watch some Glee before going to bed tonight. Isn't that the most wonderfully, pathetically convenient thing about films? However distressing they are, afterwards you can always drag yourself back to your own, simple life, and start worrying about your own, simple problems. Because it was just a film. Even if based on very, very real events.